Don't Hate Me
by CrowsGurl
Summary: They were one big happy family- though every family has their outcast. Dirk is lost amongst his family's friends with only loneliness to hold to. Gunblade AU; MultiSidePairings; Rated T for cursing.
1. Chapter 1

**This is a highschool AU with the Alpha gen as seniors and Beta gen as their younger siblings and nineth graders. I've had this floating around in my head for a whiiiile and I guess finding out about Bro's cannon crush finally pushed me into writing it c: It'll probably progress slower than my other stuff, but, y'know, whatever.**

**Disclaimer- Hussie owns Homestuck, I just own the story**

The school day dragged by slowly, every tick of the clock seemingly pausing longer than the last. It was the first friday of the school year and everyone was on the edge of their seats; intent eyes set on the second hand slowly creeping past the six. By this point, the teacher had set aside his binder and yard stick, glancing up every so often to check the time.

Seated in the back of the room was a blonde teen, half-lidded eyes hidden behind sunglasses. He was extremely pale beyond the freckles that dappled his nose and shoulders with messy blonde hair and an open black and orange jacket hanging over his tee and jeans. He tapped his fingers to the light _tick tick tick_ of the clock, standing up calmly as the bell screamed dismissal.

In a flurry of papers, pushing and talking the room cleared out. The teacher sighed, rubbing his forehead. He almost missed the lingering student who was calmly slinging his bookbag over his shoulder, pushing in his chair and shuffling toward the door.

"Mister Strider," he said before the teen could leave. He earned a glance, accompanied by an unnerving silence. "... have a good weekend." The teacher, Mr. Brown, said decidedly; having lost his train of thought with the narrowing of the orange eyes watching him.

Dirk turned and continued out into the hall, which was buzzing with noise. Kids of all heights and colors were mingling together, shouting and laughing, making weekend plans a mere day in advanced. It seemed there was a bubble around him, however, as even in the dense crowd of the halls, no one so much as brushed him. They never did. He was untouchable.

Up until a small, feminine hand grabbed his elbow and pulled him off to the side. Roxy grinned up at him, her opposite arm slung around Jane's shoulders- otherwise known as her best friend and semi-girlfriend. Jane was smiling politely, hands occupied with books.

"Oh, hello, Dirk," she greeted, nodding. He inclined his head a bit, gaze set expectantly on Roxy.

"Don't you glower at me," Roxy huffed with a light pout. "I was going to say we were invited over to the Egbert residencey for dinner! And-" the girl added before Dirk could say anything "-we're going. For someone so popular, you have, like, no friends!"

Sighing, Dirk rubbed his forehead. "Yeah, alright," he said with a roll of his eyes. Roxy's grin widened a bit as Jane's younger cousin and brother popped up beside her; blue and green gazes bright. John, her full brother, was glancing over his shoulder in search of someone while Jade, their cousin, waved up at the three older teens.

"Hey, you guys! Are you coming tonight~?" She inquired, the family buck teeth showing through as she smiled.

"It wouldn't be a party without me~" Roxy replied, striking a pose with one hand on her hip and her fingers brushing along her chin.

"Hey, that's _my_ part," Dave cut in, finally appearing beside John. Keeping his pokerface perfectly in tact, he copied her pose; earning laughter from the closeknit friends. "Oh, hey, where's the other Lalonde?" He asked after looking them over.

"Rose? Iunno, weren't you supposed to be lookin' out for her?" Roxy poked his forehead, starting toward the front doors. "Besides, Miss Partypooper probably wouldn't even come~ She never does!"

John and Jade frowned a bit as they scuttled after, Jane hanging back to walk with Dirk. "You look a bit down," the girl commented, gazing up at him with a concerned quirk of her brows. The tall teen merely shrugged, expression unreadable. "Cheer up, Dirk. You never look happy anymore! I mean, you hardly even talk to any of your friends!" She was full out frowning now, giving him a pleading look as they tromped down the stairs; the rest of the group already heading up the sidewalk.

"It is none of your concern, Crocker." He replied simply, arms crossed as the chilly Washington air brushed through his open jacket. Jane sighed, gazing down at her feet for a long moment before looking back up at him.

"Well, I'm always an open ear if you need to talk. I'm sure Roxy isn't always, uhm, _able_ to do so for you, after all." She watched said blonde stumble over her own feet, laughing as she caught herself with a hand John and Jade's shoulders. Dave must have made a snarky comment past John because a moment later they were laughing.

"There is nothing to talk about," Dirk assured her flatly, zipping the front of his jacket. He seemed to consider taking up the opposite direction of the others, head home rather than subject himself to another lonely day at the Egbert residence, but Roxy would surely make a huge deal out of it. Jane sighed again, reluctantly defeated, and quickened her pace to catch up tot he others.

This left Dirk to himself and his thoughts. He shoved his hands in his pockets and lowered his head a bit, blinking a bit more than necessary- as he always did when he was deep in thought. Things seemed to be growing progressively more boring and lonely around here; despite his friends and his siblings and his friend's siblings, he only felt ever-more alone.

Jane and Roxy both had badgered and badgered for him to find a girlfriend, or to at least attempt to do so, but he had refused each and every time. He didn't _want_ a girlfriend. Not like that. Such a relationship would seem hollow, meaningless.

Why date someone you feel nothing for?

They had insisted there must be someone for him, he was just being bashful or shy, though the discussion would quickly drop if they pressed just a little too much. Dirk would either go stone silent or he'd get aggrevated and neither of the girls wanted anything to do with an irate Strider.

Leaves of brown, orange and gold crunched beneath his shoes, laying in abandoned tatters on the sidewalk. He glanced up, noting that they had officially entered Jane's neighborhood. It was situated along the border of "Old Town," the houses, as one would expect, beautiful brick victorian with gardens and cast iron fences. The lots were small, but the inhabitants made the best of their space and spruced it enough to seem like a beautiful yard instead of a postage stamp.

The Egberts lived pancaked between two cottage-like houses, their own complete with the pointed rooving and a thick wooden front door. Dave was lingering on the porch, the others already having gone inside. The smaller brother looked up as Dirk shut the gate behind him, standing on the top step so he could see him- sunglasses to sunglasses.

"Sup," Dirk greeted, trying to pass things off as normal.

"Man, what's up with you, Bro?" Dave asked, crossing his arms in a way Dirk often did when he refused to budge until he got an answer. The boy had learned well.

"Nothin'."

"Really?"

"Really."

"Fucking liar."

"Don't even start."

Dave's eyes narrowed, opening his mouth to say something else when the door opened again. John was standing there innocently, smile evaporating when he realized the seriousness of the situation. "Oh, uhm," he murmured, nibbling at his lower lip as all of the dark-haired relatives did when they were nervous. "Sorry, guys..!"

"It's fine," Dave said, turning and passing him. "We were just coming in anyway, dude." John looked unconvinced that his interuption was 'fine' but didn't argue; instead stepping aside ot allow Dirk in before closing the door behind him.

"I think Jane and Roxy are in the livingroom," he offered with a small smile, trotting along through the hall- which promptly opened up into a beautiful living space. Hard wood floors, a high ceiling with a sky light, black leather couches and a large TV posted on the wall. The kitchen was to the left, the door leading in from the hall though there was a wide window with a few bar stools lined up against it on the living room side of the wall.

Dirk nodded, passing him by as he paused to talk to his dad through said window. Roxy and Jane were, as promised, sitting on the couch. Jane had her legs tucked up beneath her while Roxy was, as Roxy usually was, laying back against the arm with her legs stretched out and open. Her miniskirt did little to hide the striped underwear beneath, though it was nothing new and no one even seemed to notice anymore.

He sat himself in a matching leather recliner, taking the remote off of the small end table and turning the TV on. "Ooh, whatcha watchin'~?" Roxy asked, tipping her head back to look at Dirk. "You know what you should watch?"

Before she could even finish her request, he'd tuned it on. My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. According to statistics -and irony- he should be the one in love with the show, but apparently it was the best thing since Squiddles to all of the girls in the house.

Jade immediately came running in, a huge smile brightening up her face as she sat down on the empty space between Roxy's feet. John came at a slower pace, obviously having been talking to Jade when she bolted. "Hey, Dave," he called over his shoulder when he registered what was on.

The two came in, sitting on the couch opposite of the one already taken up by girls. John bent down, unlacing his shoes and kicking them off on the soft carpet that inhabited the portion of the livingroom boxed in by the TV, couches and recliner. Dirk left his on, as he usually did, along with his jacket. He dropped his bookbag off beside the recliner decidedly, though.

"Hello, kids," Mr. Egbert, or Dad, as everyone refered to him as, greeted as he momentarily escaped the kitchen. He did a quick head count, then added, "someone not showing up?"

"Rose isn't coming tonight," John said with a nod, smiling apologetically as though he should have said it before.

"Ah, alright. Well, I'll go get you kids something to drink and dinner should be ready shortly." There was a collective acknlowedgement from the livingroom as the older man moved back into the kitchen. He'd more or less raised the lot of them, given that the Lalondes and Striders ate over here more often than not and he'd taken Jade in not long after she was born.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

The dining room table, stretching out on the other half of the beautiful livingroom area, was filled with happy laughter and talking. Dad was sitting at the head of the table, Dirk at the opposite end and the rest spread between them. Despite the length of the table, there was only one open seat- that of his younger sister, Rose.

Roxy giggled as she sat forward, dragging one of the large bowls in the middle of the table toward herself, using the large spoon to dallop some mashed potatoes on her plate; overlapping her peas. Jane smiled a bit as she pushed the gravy Roxy's way. "Try not to spill it again, could you?"

"Aw, but that's no fun!" Roxy said, grinning as Dad chuckled to himself. "At least gravy doesn't stain~"

Dirk was deaf to the commotion, picking idly at his chicken. He ate regardless of his lack of appetite, wanting to be polite to his almost-father. He was an amazing cook by any standards, but Dirk had been eating less and less as of late. His siblings were growing worried over it, but Roxy, the only one his age, didn't have the attention span to hound it into him that he needed food.

Jane looked down the table at him, though Roxy quickly stole her attention away once more. Jane was catching on, slowly but surely, given that she shared two meals daily with him. It didn't mean much when someone didn't eat the lunch food, but Mr. Egbert's cooking?

"Yo," Dave said, waving a hand in front of Dirk's eyes. He looked over at his brother, scowling just enough for it to be visible. "Don't give me that shit. You're the one who's too busy off in gog knows where to respond."

Dirk narrowed his gaze further, sitting back without a reply. "Look, since you've obviously missed this whole conversation, we're stayin' over for the weekend. I'm bunkin' with Egbert and cotton candy over there's stayin' together, so what about you?"

"Someone has to go home, considering we left Rose to her own devices." Dirk said, pushing away his half full plate. He looked across to Dad, who nodded to affirm an excuse. He stood up, pushing his chair in and taking his plate to the kitchen.

"Hey, you staying over?" Roxy called through the window, leaning her chair back on two legs. Dirk didn't reply, grabbing his bookbag from the livingroom, zipping his jacket back up, and disappearing out the front door. The table fell silent beyond the thunk of Roxy's chair falling back onto all four legs.

Dad cleared his throat, standing up and taking the dishes to the bar, setting it all up there before moving around into the kitchen. "Anyone for some dessert?" He offered, trying to break the momentary concerned silence.

"Uhm... sure," John replied, looking around at his friends with a small nod. They returned the gesture, and slowly the conversations were revived.


	2. Chapter 2

October was fast approaching, putting up jack'o'lanturns and decorations in its wake. Dirk was sitting on the front porch of the apartment complex he stayed in with the three other blonde kids, one foot tapping the cracked concrete while his other supported an elbow and, in turn, chin. He stubbed out a cigarette, releasing the last of the smoke with a long, heavy sigh.

Rose hated the fact that he smoked, not allowing him to do so in the apartment, even though the majority of the inhabitants could not care less. He rubbed at the bridge of his nose, aviators momentarily askew. He replaced them promptly as the door hinges behind him squawked in protest to being opened. The worn soles of shoes slapped down the stairs, followed by the thud of someone falling into a sitting position beside him.

Dirk shot a sideways glance, eyes visible past the edge of his sunglasses, thanks to the angle. Rose met them directly with her icy violet gaze before looking out at the dirty street. Their little end of the city was far different from the Egbert's- more or less the ghetto for an otherwise upbeat city. She cleared her throat a bit, the light wrinkle in her nose showing her distaste at the lingering stench of nicotine.

"Well?" She asked after a long pause, a breathy white cloud ghosting past her lips. Dirk was still watching her, brow furrowed slightly.

"Excuse me?"

Rose gave him a look, lips quirked in slight irratation. "Do not play stupid with me, Strider. When are you going to tell us what is wrong? We can only sit around and watch you elapse further and further into this hole of self loathing and depression for so long before our hand will be forced. It would be so much easier and pleasant if you simply complied."

His feiry orange eyes dropped down to the concrete between his feet, head still in his hand. He was shaking it slowly, declining any sort of help. "There is nothing to talk about, Rose. You _know that._"

"Oh, come now, I do not have the patience for this right now." She said, drawing her legs up closer with a light flutter of her home made dress. Her sewing skills were nothing short of professional, though she had her cold little heart set on something majoring in psychology.

Dirk stood up, looming over her as he swept off his clothes and turned to retreat into the apartment. The girl pushed herself to her feet as well, catching his hand and having him turn around; hugging her brother gently around the middle. He was obviously surprised, though before he could say or do anything, she was gathering up a binder she'd set down and walking away; probably up the street a bit to where her best friend, Kanaya Maryam, lived.

He closed his eyes, taking a long pause before he made his way back inside. They lived up near the top floor and, thanks to a few drunken idiots, the elevators were currently out of order. He instead made his way up the stairs, keeping a count in the back of his mind.

_Floor one, floor two, floor three, floor four.._

Why was it everyone he knew had to pry so insistingly into his private life? It really was none of their concern. There was nothing to discuss- which was, in his opinion, part of the problem. Nothing new, nothing exciting and certaintly nothing personal.

_Floor five, floor six, floor seven, and, finally, floor eight._

Dirk dropped his thoughts as he reached the top of the cement steps, pushing through the door out of the stairwell and into the musty, offwhite hall. It was dark, thanks to the unchanged lightbulbs hanging from the ceiling, but the window at the far end of the hall cast white light far enough to see.

He opened the door to their shared apartment, closing and locking it behind him. Dave and Roxy were sitting in the small livingroom, he on the floor and she on the ragged couch with a huge smile. "Hey~" She greeted without looking up, turning a corner and just missing a head shot on Dave- who, in turn, knifed her in passing and continued on.

"Awwwww," the girl whined, flopping back against the couch with a frown. She was clad in a tight-fitting black canvisol and baggy pink pajama pants, while Dave, too, was still wearing his red pajama pants. Dirk sifted a hand through his messy blonde hair as he passed them; scarce enough room behind the couch for one to reach the kitchenette on the opposite side.

There was a bottle of extremely cheap wine left sitting out with a cracked glass, probably Roxy's morning drink. And they said _he_ had a nasty habit.

"Hey," Roxy said, leaning over the back of the couch to look at Dirk, "are you working tonight?"

He snatched an RC from the fridge, cracking it as he turned to face her. "Yeah. Why?" The girl scrunched up her nose a bit in exhasperation, wriggling back to face the TV.

"Cuz I wanted to go over and spend the night with the 'berts. Janey's birthday is tomorrow, remember~?" She sighed, slumping down a bit.

"Then you go. I'll stay here." Dirk rounded the couch, perching on the arm with one leg up in front of him and the other hanging. Roxy groaned again, rubbing at her face.

"But what about you? If me 'n Dave go, and Rose is stayin' with Kankan, then you'll be home all alooone." She drawled, frowning up at him with her thin arms crossing.

"I don't mind."

"A'course you don't. You're so antisocial these days! No wonder you don't have any friends."

Dirk made a small motion toward the screen and Roxy jumped; hurriedly grabbing up her controler just before Dave got at her with the same knife as before. She bolted, quickly losing the boy. While she was distracted, Dirk took the opportunity to move back to the bedroom; which had a bunk bed, a single and a nest on the floor.

He had claimed the top bunk, the only bed with sort of privacy, and, for that very reason, had passed it on to Rose. She wasn't strict on him remaining on the lower bunk, however; so he scaled the rattling ladder and carefully tossed himself down on the upper bunk.

The comforting scent of his younger sister lifted from the disturbed blankets, giving Dirk at least a little peace of mind. In all honesty, he probably shouldn't have allowed her to walk herself up the street -she was only fourteen, after all, and there were quite a few creeps present- though he'd seen what had happened to the last guy that gave her a little trouble..

There wasn't much to worry about.

At some point, Dirk must have drifted off, as the next thing he was aware of was a toy cat bouncing off the top of his head. "Diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiirk," Roxy was whining and, by her tone, had been for a while. The cat, complete with a pink bow, fell into his hands as he sat up a bit and glared over the edge of the bunk. His sunglasses were no longer covering his bright orange eyes, though they no longer phased her.

"What."

"Huh?" She jumpped a bit, dropping the wizard she'd drawn back to chuck up at him. "Oh! We're getting ready to go- you really should get ready!" Roxy said, putting a hand on her waist.

"I already said I'm not going."

"Oh, come on! It's for Janey's birthday!"

"What if Rose comes back and needs help? There wouldn't be anyone around for her."

"Ugh, she has a _cellphone,_ y'know! She can just call or text or somethin'."

Dirk rolled his eyes, flopping back down on the bed. Roxy resumed chucking her small plushies up at him and complaining about him. Dirk finally relented, sitting up on his elbows and brushing his hair back with his fingers. He hopped off the side of the bunk, snatching his glasses and putting them on.

"Good boy~" Roxy giggled, musing his messy bed head before turning on her heel and walking out of the shared bedroom. At least she'd managed to dress herself.

He did not bother to change, merely shrugging a bit deeper into his jacket and leading the two younger blondes out the door. "So you're coming?" Dave inquired, looking up at his brother as they descended the stairs. It'd been a while, yet still no maintanance for the elevators.

"No dip."

Roxy rolled her hot pink eyes, looping an arm through Dave's. "Sorry, Dave. Dirk is PMSing too much right now to be nice~" She giggled and Dave smirked, though Dirk himself gave no reply or acknowledgement. "Ugh, come on! I remember back when you were _fun!_ Now you're just.. not fun."

"Ten points, Lalonde." Dave said, his opposite hand diving into his pocket.

Dirk reached the bottom floor, holding the door for the two and instead taking up pace behind them. Roxy pretended not to notice, instead holding small, meaningless conversations with Dave. The oldest of the Striders nearly walked right past the fence- had Dave not caught his sleeve and guided him in the correct direction.

The immediate scent of baking sweets wafted through the front door as Jade answered it, grinning and hopping back a step to allow them in. John and Dad were busily working in the kitchen, Jane sitting at the window with a look of longing.

"Please?" She begged, leaning across the bar-like window with her lands clasped together and light blue eyes glimmering.

"No!" John giggled in reply, skipping over to check on the cake. "You're not baking your own birthday cake!"

"Why not?"

"Because it's just not right."

"Ugh, but _why?_"

"Janey!" Roxy cut in, throwing herself at Jane and hugging her tight around the neck. John laughed in triumph and Dad chuckled, waving the two girls away from the window.

"Roxy," he said once the two had settled down and she'd taken a seat on one of the barstools, "would you like to lick the bowl?" Lalonde let out a shrill squeal of excitement as he passed her the bowl coated in homemade chocolate icing.

Jane smiled softly at her best friend as the girl quickly swiped her finger through the icing and licked it up; something she'd done since she was a child. Dad had taken to handing off the bowls or whisks to her rather than any of the others, especially John. He despised sweet things.

Dirk passed her silently, hands deep in his pockets and eyes fluttering a bit in anxious thought. Dave had already migrated to the livingroom with John, fighting with him over the remote and what to watch- Con Air, which was playing on HBO or the Barbie movie playing on Cartoon Network.

He sat down at the end of the far couch, positioning him just beside the window. The curtains were parted just enough to see outside, where it was begining to grow dark. He stared out toward the trees bursting up in colorful arrays of autumn leaves periodically from the sidewalk through similiar golden orange eyes.

There was a light dip in the couch beside him as the birthday girl to be sat down. She was turned toward him, one arm on the back of the couch and her thin legs bundled up beneath her. "Mr. Strider?" Jane asked, resting a slim hand on his shoulder.

For a long moment, he was unresponsive; though he eventually turned to look at her. Her brows drew up in concern, heeled by a sad smile. "What kind of pizza would you like? The oven is being used right now, so Dad is going to go ahead and order from Cici's."

"You know I don't give a shit," he replied blandly, dismissively.

"Extra cheese it is."

Jane lingered a moment longer, gazing at Dirk's stone cold expression before standing up and retreating to the safe hold of the kitchen bar. Roxy was just pushing the bowl toward the sink, conviniently placed in the right corner within reach of the bar.

"The usual," Crocker said with a small smile, leaning beside Roxy. Dad nodded, turning to the phone he'd already been talking on to complete their order.

"So how's your boy doin'?" Roxy asked, resting her cheek in her palm and watching Jane with an easy grin.

"He's not _my boy,_" Jane replied with a light blush, crossing her arms on the bar and averting her eyes in embarrassment.

"Whatever you say, Janey-girl~" Roxy sang, poking the girl's bright pink cheek.

John popped up on the other side of the bar, leaning partially over it and giving Jane a curious, questioning look. "Aw, what's wrong?" He asked with a buck-tooth grin, sparing Roxy's laughter a glance.

"Ugh, nothing!" Jane squeaked, burying her face in her hands.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

"Pizza's here~~" Jade cheered as she helped Dad bring it all in; laying it out on the coffee table between the couches and recliner. She set out some soda with it, along with breadsticks, plates and cups. "Are you guys ready to eat?"

Jane, who was sitting close between Dirk and Roxy, sat forward to crack open the boxes and release the warm aroma of fresh Cici's pizza. "Ooh, it smells so good," she hummed, pulling out slices and passing them off accordingly.

Dad sat down in his recliner with his plate, waggling a finger at the teens. "Make sure not to get any food on the furniture, kids." They all traded amused, knowing glances, recalling mishaps in the past when Mr. Egbert had forgotten his usual warning.

"I smell food!" John yelled from one of the back rooms, bolting out into the livingroom with Dave close behind. The derp's socked feet shot right out from beneath him on the hardwood flooring; Dave managing to hook his arm beneath John's back and steady him.

"My my, you've fallen hard for the ol' Strider charm, huh, Egert?" Dave teased, smirking down at the squirming, blushing boy.

"Daaaave! I'm not a homosexuaaaaal~!" He giggled, finally managing to regain his footing and hurrying more cautiously toward the table. Dave chuckled to himself as he sat down to enjoy his own dinner.

Once the pizza and soda alike had been depleted, Dad set about to work out the sleeping arrangements. "Dave, you can stay in John's room. Roxy and Jane can share a room as well," he said, motioning around at the kids as he spoke. "Since Rose isn't here, I suppose Jade gets her room to herself." A small cheer. "And Dirk.."

"I'll sleep on the couch," he said with a nod, knowing it was troublesome for them to ready the guest room- the room Mrs. Egbert had always loved. He didn't know much else about her, beyond that she was an angel and perfect in every way- or so everyone who had known her made her out to be.

"Are you sure? We have another room upstairs that I could-"

"It's fine, Mr. Egbert," Dirk assured him with a steely look. The fatherly figure relented with an unsure 'okay' as he stood.

"Well, good night, then, kids."

**Did I mention before that this is more or less a vent via empathy on Dirk's part? I've been feeling off, but I have no idea what's wrong. It's good to feel like I'm not alone in this feeling, thanks to Dirk, and even moreso actually knowing what's wrong with Dirk. So yeah.**


	3. Chapter 3

The house fell absolutely silent after an hour or so; all of the kids having fallen asleep but one. He shifted onto his back, one hand tucked between his head and the arm of the couch while the other clasped his sunglasses against his stomach. He felt ill, like at any moment he'd be seeing dinner all over again, yet at the same time moreso fatigued than sickly.

Dirk closed his orange eyes tightly, lips pursed into a steady frown and eyebrows furrowed. It was a fearful sort of expectancy, he was sure. He was waiting for something- something bad. He rolled onto his side, pressing his forehead against the cool leather of the back of the couch and tried to force the thoughts from his mind.

He couldn't very well sit up and turn the TV on to distract himself; thanks to the size of the room, even with the TV near muted, it would echo up to the varios sleepers upstairs. Releasing a slow, steady sigh, he pulled his knees closer in a loose ball.

He hated nights like these.

The teen stiffened when a soft patter reached his ears, steadily growing in volume and frequency. He sat up, breath catching as he looked around- though he caught himself and sighed. It was raining and the precipitation hitting the high sky light always seemed to exaggerate the force.

Dirk flopped back into a laying position, scrubbing the heels of his hands into his eyes. He really needed to get ahold of himself. Things had been this way for so long now, though, that he wasn't sure it was an option anymore...

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

John was the first one awake come morning. A huge buck tooth smile spread over his lips as he carefully crept over Dave's sleeping figure and scuttled out the door. He paused at each room, listening for a half-beat to be sure that he was the truly was the only one awake before hurrying quietly down the stairs.

Needless to say, when he rounded the couch perpindicular to the stairs and a body caught his eye, he nearly jumped out of his skin. Dirk was laying on his side, staring across the room through half-lidded orange eyes- beneath which hung bags nearly as heavy as John's best friend, Karkat's.

"Oh, uhm, g'morning, Bro!" John said in what he hoped was a cheerful voice, skipping over to lean on the arm of the couch opposite of the one Dirk was laying on.

The young man looked his way, taking a sleepy moment to register John before sitting up and, first thing, putting his sunglasses on. John's smile dimmed a bit as he looked down at his hands. "Did you sleep well?" He inquired, making his way toward the kitchen as he spoke.

"No."

John's smile vanished just as quickly, replaced by a pitying bite of his lip. "Aw, I'm sorry to hear that! There's still a while before everyone else gets up, y'know. You could always try and go to sleep now," he called through the window as he crawled up onto the cabinets to reach the upper shelves.

Dirk made his way sluggishly to the line of bar stools, taking a seat in the middle and resting his chin in his hand. "It's fine," he replied, sounding unconvincing even to himself.

"If you're sure.. Would you like some coffee to help you wake up, then?" John offered as he set down a box of Bisquick; hands hovering over the large red coffee container on the lower shelf. Dirk gave a half-nod and he smiled in return, feeling as though he were helping the unhelpable.

"Okay! It'll take a few minutes to drip, though."

They fell into silence as John filled the coffee maker and set it to drip in the background. He was now counting out the current inhabitants of his house and gathering the necessary supplies for a huge batch of pancakes.

"What would go good with pancakes and make a nice birthday breakfast, y'think?" He asked, innocent blue eyes cast over toward Dirk as he stirred the ingredients in a large tan bowl. "I mean, we have some fruit that we could make a salad with, and I think we have some eggs, but I don't really know how to make omlets or anything like that.."

Dirk paused to think while John set the bowl down to pour his coffee, fresh and black, just as Dirk always drank it. He sipped it, saying a small thanks past the cup as he thought. John heated up the stove, searching for their good skillet.

A moment later he turned back around to find Dirk entering the kitchen and, a huge surprise to John, his glasses still sitting on the counter with his coffee cup. A huge smile stretched across the boy's face as he hopped off of a stool he'd used to get to the skillet, shifting back over to the oven.

"Look, I can make some kickass omlets," Dirk said with a self-assured nod, turning to the fridge. John's expression brightened further- he hadn't seen Dirk not upset in so long it came as a total shock. He wasn't exactly happy, but he wasn't introspected and gloomy like usual.

"Okay~!" He all but sang in reply, grabbing a spatchula and setting to work on baking the pancakes.

Dirk soon joined him at the stovetop with a different pan and, as he'd said he would, cooking up a number of delicious looking omlets. "Y'all get one a peice," Dirk explained as he set another omelet aside, Texan accent peeking through in this moment of relaxation.

"Works for me~" John giggled, feeling almost jittery with joy. Dirk's accent showed when he was really feeling something, whether it be relaxed, flustered, angry..

"You mentioned some fruit salad, right?" The blonde inquired as he set the pan at the bottom of the left sink and washed it out. John nodded, motioning toward the fridge.

"There's plent of it in there, hehe~"

Dirk glanced through the fruit drawer, picking out half a cantalope, some watermelon squares, a divided starfruit, some apples and pears and the like. "This look about right?" He asked, laying the fruits out on the counter as he pulled a cutting board down out of one of the cabinets and a knife from a drawer.

John nodded happily, pouring the last of the pancake batter into the skillet. "Yup! Thanks a lot for the help, Bro~!" He chimed, and, as contagious as John's smiles are, Dirk cracked a slight smirk. John bit his lip to stifle joyful laughter, pushing another of the large bowls toward Dirk for the fruit.

A few moments later they were laying out the table, plates, cups and silverware at each seat. Along the middle sat the fruit salad, pancakes and omelets along with a jug of milk and orange juice. "Not half bad," Dirk said as John retrieved a small flower in a singular vase and set it at the head of the table where Jane would be sitting.

"Nope~!" John replied, smiling huge. "I'll go get everybody! You wait here~" He ran across the livingroom before Dirk could get in another word, so he chuckled and sat down. John had a way of worming his way into your heart and cracking the defenses, if only for a few moments.

By the time he returned, Dirk was slumped back in his chair; sipping chilled coffee and pushing his sunglasses up on the bridge of his nose. He wasn't off-put in the least, instead turning and motioning happily. "C'mon, you guys! We worked super duper hard on breakfast~!"

Dave and Roxy, both clad in a minimum amount of night clothes, stumbled down the stairs together, followed by Jade, who was wearing a soft green pajama dress. Dad was fully dressed with his fedora and pipe already as he stepped off the bottom most step- everyone turning to watch Jane's sleepy descending of the stairs.

She was wearing a long shirt with sleeves that hid her fingers and reached mid-thigh, pale blue boxers visible just beneath the hem. Her eyes raised and, for a moment, she seemed confused, but broke into a smile as everyone sang an off-key rendition of _Happy Birthday._

"Awww," she cooed, rubbing her bright blue eyes. "You guys are all so sweet~ Thanks," Jane giggled, hugging each in turn. She looked up at Dirk, who was still seated at the table with his coffee to his lips, and held out her arms with a smile. "Aw, no hug for Mr. Grumpy?"

"Naw, I'm good," he replied, though the girl's pout was followed by a hug over the back of his chair regardless. "That could be considered sexual harrassment, mind you."

Roxy burst into a fit of giggles as she plopped down across from Dirk, the two of them on either side of Jade's end seat. "Oooooh~ You get your man, Janey~" She teased, grinning. Jade rolled her large emerald eyes, snorting as she sat down.

"No teasing the birthday girl, Roxy!" The messy-haired girl scolded with a buck-tooth grin, not unlike John's, as she motioned toward Jane's flushed cheeks. "It's not nice, y'know~"

Dirk looked completely unamused by the entirety of the conversation, fingers drumming along his thigh as Jane took her seat. John bound around to sit beside Dirk while Dad sat at the far end of the table. Dave had a hand on his hip as he looked at John, huffing teasingly- teasing something that came easily to the boy first thing in the morning.

"What? So I don't get to sit next to my own fucking Bro now?" He asked with another huff as John grinned up at him and nodded.

"Yup! We made breakfast together, so obviously that means he's _my_ Bro now!"

Said Bro was still drumming his fingers soundlessly along his leg, looking over to Jane. "Call this meeting to order already," he said, getting a small, embarrassed smile.

"Yeah, of course." Jane cleared her throat, gaining the multicolored eyes from around the table. "C'mon, everyone, let's go ahead and eat~!"

**That's about it for this chapter :/ I'll probably skip her birthday party since I have more important things to move along to, hm?**


	4. Chapter 4

John giggled as he flopped back onto the couch, smiling brightly with a bowl of icecream and spoon in his hands. On either side of him were his closest bros weilding cake; Dave to one side and Karkat to the other. He was smiling across the carpet at the other couch where Rose had just defeated Kanaya in a game of cards.

The smallest in the room, Karkat, sat forward with a hard scowl as he eyed Rose's triumphant smirk. "You need to cut the fucking cheating, Lalonde," he huffed irratably, arms crossing on his knees as he set his cake, practically untouched, on the table.

"Whatever are you accusing me of, now?" She inquired, looking over at him and purposly down her nose.

"Cheating, gogdammit! I saw what you did! Maryam should have fucking won-"

"Language, language~" Roxy teased, leaning over the back of the couch to pull Karkat's messy light brown hair into a ponytail. He tried to squirm his way out of it, but a tug and jerk back of his head were enough to defeat the boy. "Oh stop it before I braid it, too."

"Fuck off-"

"Language!" She repeated, giving a light tug on the pigtail. She had two more bands around her wrist, skipping up to the other end of the couch where Jane was sitting with a few other friends from school. "Janey," Roxy cooed, leaning over the back of the couch to draw the girls up in two pigtails on either side of her head, "you look sooooo cute with pigtails, y'know~"

"Huh?" Jane blinked up at her, head tipped back and large sky blue eyes set innocently on Roxy's odd magenta ones.

Roxy started to reiterate her point, when she paused and glanced around. "Hey, where's grumpy-puss?"

"Karkat's sitting down at the other end of the couch, Roxy. You just saw him."

"No, no," she laughed, shaking her head. "_My_ grumpy-puss! Or, should I say, _your_ grumpy-puss~?" Roxy ruffled Jane's bangs, primping them a bit with a grin. Jane seemed to think for a moment before shrugging.

"I haven't seen him since people started arriving, really."

"Ugh, that's so like him."

"Yeah..."

Jane's expression elapsed into disappointment and concern, making Roxy's grin fade. "Hey, cheer up! It's your birthday!" She said, slipping around the couch to stand in front of Jane. Beside her, a girl with large eyes and curly black hair cocked her head.

"Yeah, she's right, Jane!" The girl agreed with an enthusiastic nod, smiling toothily.

"See? Even Pies-ies agrees with me~" Roxy said, poking either end of Jane's mouth and tugging it up into a smile.

"Peixes," the young woman, Feferi, corrected politely.

"Peixes, Pies-ies, what's the difference?"

"Maybe he's outside?" Jane chipped in suddenly, the other two cutting off their conversation. Jane rose to her feet, passing Roxy, who looked confused. "Dirk, I mean," she clarified on her way toward the door. She took up a jacket she'd received only earlier that day; soft blue fleece with a fluffy white fur lining along the inside and cuffs.

Treading lightly, Jane slid out the door and closed it behind her. Further disappointment laced through her features when Dirk, in fact, was not simply outside having a smoke as he usually was when he went missing. Sighing sadly, she turned and retreated back into the house.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

There was something about overcast days like these that made everything seem so much more sureal. The pale white light brought a convicting shadow to all it encompassed. The cigarette smoke billowed from his lips, a pure sort of cloud in the current bleaching light.

Surely no one had noticed his exit yet; he made a point to stay on the fringes for just that reason. If everyong was occupied with everyone else and he wasn't involved in anything, then it would take far longer to be missed. _Especially_ on days like these.

The sidewalk was at a gradual incline, finally leveling off as it emerged from the historic section of downtown. He glanced up to the right, a steep green hill capped with a low grey brick wall. He flicked the stub of his cigarette as a path widdled its way up the hill and lead to an open iron fence.

He reached the top of the drive, making his way along the empty winding path with a souless gaze behind his sunglasses. At last it rounded off in a dead end and he took a right- trailing along until he finally came to a stop in front of a wide headstone.

Pursing his lips, the teen took his sunglasses off and pushed them into his pocket. Slowly, he took a seat; gazing silently at the grey stone for a long, long while. The grass of the graveyard was well taken care of, vivid green and kept at a managable length.

Beneath the clouded sunlight, the whole image took on a more sinister, lonesome drain of color.

Dirk released a dragging, heavy sigh and pulled his knees up in front of him; one arm tucked between them and his chest while the other rested on them and supporting his head. "Hey..." He greeted softly, the pain and anxieties in his voice more audible now than ever.

"Mom, Dad, it's been a while..."

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

"Yo, motherfucker," a deep, wavering yet smooth voice greeted, followed by a chuckle and the thunk of a full bottle of soda hitting the table in front of him. Dirk glanced over, managing to disguise the start with an unseen glare. "Got you your drink, brother. Dunno, can you even up 'n drink this shit with your mouth?"

Dirk grimaced, taking the soda, a Faygo Rootbeer, and studying the messy white font of the title and brown background. He said nothing, though, earning a laugh from the obviously stoned man beside him.

"Holy thit, Gamthee, jutht thut it," another growled irratably as he sat down on Dirk's opposite side. His tray practically tipped as it clattered against the table; promptly pushed away and replaced by Sollux' head on his crossed arms. He shook his head a bit, groaning again.

"Sorry, broham, didn't mean no motherfuckin' offense or nothin'. You look tired, man," he added with an easy laugh. Sollux flipped him off, muttering under his breath.

"If you dipthitth don't turn down that fucking muthic tonight, I'm going to drop dead of fucking SADS.."

Dirk rolled his eyes a bit behind his sunglasses, saying nothing as the two bickered and chortled back and forth as though he weren't sitting between them. It was usually like this, but with his two cents added in in the background- but not today.

He couldn't really say much at all.

"Tho how'th it looking, anyway?" Sollux asked, finally forcing himself to ignore one of his two roomates from hell- the other being John's little friend, Karkat.

Dirk straightened up, elbows on the table as he brushed his bangs behind his ear to expose his brow while simultaneously sticking out his tongue. Both areas were tender and red around day-old peircings- only containing studs to allow them to adjust.

"Peachy," he snuffed, the word coming out a bit awkward as he tried to keep from moving his tongue too quickly.

Sollux snorted and Gamzee patted Dirk's back with a large hand, chuckling himself. "Sorry 'bout your face, brother." Sollux stifled further snickering, pressing the back of his hand against his mouth as he shook up a small carton of milk with the other.

Dirk sighed, rubbing his forehead with his palm. For a few moments, things fell into a calm silence -as far as their table went comparitive to the rest of the cafeteria- until a slender, female hand slapped down on the opposite side of teh table from him.

"Striiiiiiiider~" A nasally, aggrevatingly familiar voice sneered, followed by a grunt of annoyance from Sollux.

"Fuck off, Therket. You don't even _belong_ in thith grade."

"You're one to talk!" She sniffed condescendingly.

"I actually did thome work to get where I am. You jutht cut fucking clatheth."

"Yeah, well, look, loooooooser, this doesn't concern you!"

Sollux started to snap in return, but Vriska cut him off before he could get a word in. "So, anyway, as I was saying- are you coming tonight~?"

Dirk stared at her for a long, silent moment, though she managed to hold his gaze through his sunglasses without wavering in the least from her snobbish attitude. He slowly rose to his feet, however; towering over the girl.

She fidgeted with the frayed edge of her too-short tank top, pouting and glaring off to the side. "I just wanna know, geez! Everyone else is wondering!"

He continued to stare at her, his emotions just as nonexsistant as his voice. Finally, Vriska backed down and shifted her knees from the seat she'd been standing on. "Yeah, okay, I'll see you there, then," she huffed, turning and storming a bit too quickly from the cafeteria.

Dirk dropped back into his seat, eyes closed as he shifted his sunglasses up and rubbed at his eyes irratably. "Ugh..." Sollux' almost eerie laughter continued behind one hand as he fisted the other and offered it, earning a fist bump.

"Gog, I haven't theen Vrithka turn tail tho fatht thinthe Terethi thaid she wouldn't date her. _That_ wath thomething to behold." He followed it up by unstifled snickers. Gamzee had since migrated toward the other end of the table where a young criple and a few nice looking girls were sitting.

Dirk didn't give either a glance as he readjusted his sunglasses and stood up. He hadn't even bought lunch today, just the Faygo Gamzee had brought him as usual, though even that seemed not worth the risk. Carbonation probably didn't feel too good on a fresh peircing.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

"Whaddya mean he never came home?"

"I have been here since my last block's premature dismissing, and I have yet to see hide nor hair of him."

Roxy made an exhasperated noise in the back of her throat, throwing her black and pink bookbag down on the edge of the couch as she squoze past to get into the kitchen. Rose was sitting at the other end of the couch, knitting rhythmically while Dave at least faked paying attention to the TV. It was obvious he was anxious over Dirk's disappearance as well.

Though none of the siblings could say it was anything new.

"Tell me you are not really-" Rose started, pausing in her knitting to look over the back of the couch in time to watch Roxy crack a beer. It was incredibly cheap, but it was the best they could afford from a place like this. She hopped over the back of the couch, ignoring the cry of the worn springs as she landed hard on her butt.

"Not really wha?"

Rose gave her a long, cold look, to which Roxy tried to pretend she was oblivious and continued to sip her alcohol. "It really is not good for anyone to ingest as much alcohol as you do- especially given your current state."

"Current state? What? Sittin' on the couch?" Roxy inquired, the slight edge in her voice usually what gave away that she hadn't had a beer in too long- in her taste, anyway.

"A growing woman, Roxy Lalonde."

"Yeah, well, you're not my fucking mom, Rose," she snipped, taking a deep, spiteful swig. An argument followed prompt, going from Rose's stern cautions to Roxy's shouting to Rose losing her temper...

Both were snapped back to reality when the bedroom door slammed shut, TV left unattended.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

**gotta cut this off for the night, I'm really tired adn I won't have time to work on this tomorrow.. if I come back to it later, I'll lose the flow again and the chapter will end up choppy, so I hope it's okay that I've been growing progressively shorter :c Once I have time to just sit down and type, I promise something better!**

Also, please review if you read? I feel kinda discouraged because, out of FF and dA, this is the least popular thing I've ever really done and it's just... I mean, I adore this story for reasons all my own, so some feedback would mean the world ;o;

And you might want to throw some hugs in there for Dave?


	5. Chapter 5

The streets were as silent as Death himself; only the distant sound of cars and ghosting whispers of wind breaking through the heavy nothingness. Now and again a stray teen would be seen hurrying up the street, all heading toward the same destination, toward the same risks and excitement.

A large, abandoned storehouse was consuming them one by one. The boards that'd been holding the door shut were long-since broken off, matching the hollow eyes of ten shattered windows on the face of the building.

The deeper you trecked, the more obvious the situation became. Music pulsed along through the cracks of the cement, reaching up at the eager girls as they giggled and slowed to a slower, more relaxed pace. A heavy door cut off the end of the metal staircases they'd gone down, and, as they opened them, the multicolored lights and music swept out to embrace their ready bodies.

Illegal raves- the only place Dirk felt relaxation at anymore.

He was standing behind the DJ's turntables, smirking out at the crowd as they shouted and cheered along with the music. In all his four years of working as the DJ, he'd never once seen a rave busted, and he never expected to.

Tonight was no exception; so far everything was going smoothly. A drunken scuffle here or there, but their make-shift bouncer had it taken care of in little to no time.

He wasn't sure how long it had been when he was finally called down for a break, reveling in the excited cheering erupting around him as he forced his way through the crowd of squirming bodies. Every so often someone would make a grab at him, once even for his avaitors, but he side-stepped it all with the perfect grace he used to posses.

Dirk smirked more as he sat down at a renovated bar, licking along the inside of his teeth tentatively. The peircing was merely a dull bee's sting under the haze of alcohol. Unlike Roxy, however, he only drank to a pleasant buzz before pushing away all other offered alcohol.

"Hey, thtupid, I thought you were going home early tonight?" Sollux asked as he sat down beside Dirk- his usual seat here as it was at school.

"Hey, stupid," he replied, giving Sollux a glance, "I thought you weren't coming."

"I wathn't going to, but then Gamthee bowed out to take care of Karkat and I wath thtuck making thure you didn't do anything too incredibly thtupid tonight."

"I'm honored."

"Thut up."

Dirk rested his chin in his palm, eyes drifting up the slate wall a yard or so past the counter. The neon lights flashed along the surface, hiding the lonely nuetrality beneath. He just as quickly looked away.

"Tho how much longer do you plan on bumming around thith plathe before we head back?" Sollux questioned as he ran his finger along the base of a beer he'd nearly finished.

"I was obviously planning on moving in here."

"Ugh, cooldouthe, theriouthly. I need to get thome thleep! Gamth and KK have been keeping me up every night with their thtupid muthic and I've been falling athleep in clathh. Tho can we go, now?"

Dirk gave him a hard look before sighing and standing up. "Stop your whining, Captor. I'm goin'." He walked past Sollux, moving toward the door without allowing the thinner teen a moment to stand.

Sollux stumbled after him, obviously having more than just that singular beer. "Gog, you are _waisted,_" Dirk mused, pushing open the heavy door and allowing his planked friend out before shutting it again.

"No I motht thertaintly am not!" He huffed indignantly, crossing his gangly arms and making his way shakily up the steps. Dirk followed a step behind him, one hand on the railing and the other hovering just behind Sollux' lower back lest he trip.

He rolled his eyes in response, ushering Sollux up the last few steps and toward the exit.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Dirk shoved the apartment door open without much thought, closing and locking it behind himself, glancing at the clock as he turned back around. It was nearly one already?

Where had the night gone.

He slipped through the empty livingroom, which he found a bit odd, given that his siblings usually stayed up until the butt-crack of dawn before passing out where there was available space, but it wasn't until he reached the bedroom that he froze.

The bedroom was empty.

No- it was _almost_ empty. Three beds sat unoccupied, but the last concealed a shuddering lump and soft hiccups. Dirk's brows knit as he walked over to the makeshift bed on the floor, sitting down beside who he could only guess was Dave.

"Yo," he said, leaning down to peel back the sleeping bag. Dave's pale face shot up, large, teary red eyes fully uncovered as his glasses were laying a few feet away. He was shaking, tear splotches ringing his eyes and nose.

Dave swallowed another sobbing hiccup, sitting back to stare up at Dirk with almost accusational rubies. "What's wrong..?" The older of the Strider brothers asked, leaning forward a bit only to have Dave recoil further.

Dirk's brows knit above his sunglasses, which he set off to the side so he could look his little bro eye-to-eye. "... where are the girls?"

"Gone," Dave replied sharply, though his voice was so small, so shaky, it hardly showed.

"Oh," he said, used to their spontaneous migration to friends' houses. "Why didn't you head over to your little twerp's house, then?"

"He's not even home," he replied raspily, shifting so his back was against the bed and his knees brought up to his chest. "He went over to Karkat's place after the party."

Dirk started to say something, but Dave shook his head and sniffed. "Don't.. Just _don't..._" The small albino stood up, dusted himself off and retrieved his sunglasses.

"Wait, bro," Dirk insisted, standing himself and reaching out to ruffle Dave's hair when the boy let out a sharp bark and slapped him away.

"Don'cha _dare_ touch me! Y'smell like drugs 'n alcohol and I can't believe you left like that! Roxy got drunk again but I thought it was gunna be okay cos Rose was _finally_ home, but I was wrong cos all they did was _fight! _That's all _any_ of y'all do anymore! If yer not fightin', it's only cos you ain't within a fuckin' five mile radious of eachother!"

Dave was shouting, accent in full-gear, hands fisting at his sides and tears reappearing in his eyes. He swiped at them furiously, turning and storming out of the room. He snatched up his jacket and, like that, the door of the apartment clicked shut and left Dirk to his thoughts.

The oldest of the kids stared after Dave, wanting to go after him for obvious reasons -the most of which being that he had no idea where he was going- but he couldn't. He simply couldn't will himself from his rooted position in the bedroom.

Guilt began to swell in the back of his throat as he thought deeper into what Dave had said. His eyes dropped shamefully to his feet, feeling as though this entire thing was his own fault- which, it wasn't, but he was still the oldest. He was still the one who was supposed to take care of the others.

This mess, every last bit of it, stemmed from that one little accident. Some hick drank one too many beers, went out driving just a few miles too fast, drove just a little too recklessly...

All four were old enough to recall the accident, but the personal experiences were far from similar. Dirk had always adored his mother, had always taken care of her and such, and losing his closest friend and mother was a _hard_ hit to take.

Roxy, on the other hand, had been a daddy's girl. She hung around his neck day and night, tagging along with his outtings, earning the love of himself and his friends with ease. She had always been good at things like that.

Rose was younger, her memories more vague, but she could recall what it was like to be loved in a way only a parent could love. She spent a lot of her time knitting away beside their mother, smiling and happy.

Dave was the youngest. He had very little memory of the accident and their parents alike. He had been a golden child, always happy, always willing to help, always doing whatever he could to please his parents and older siblings.

Everything fell apart after the funeral.

Dirk began to withdraw from the world while Roxy took up drinking to drown out her memories. Rose had cut most ties with her family as a whole, lingering on the fringes and quickly chosing her friends over her brothers and sister.

And then, again, there was Dave.

Dave had tried again and again, tried just as hard as he could, tried everything in his power to please his small family as he had before. He wanted to see them smile, to hear their warm laughter, to have their love once more...

Instead, he recieved an introvert, an alcoholic and a cold shoulder.

He had perservered; following a close path behind Dirk and his "cool ways," yet, despite the minimal results he got for it, he didn't give up hope. He couldn't give up hope. In all honesty, he was the only thing still holding them together- however feebly it was.

Dirk sat down on the edge of his bed as this and more wracked through his already guilty mind. It had never occured to him that Dave was the victim. The boy was alwasy so calm and collected, joking around with his derpy little friend and otherwise remaining unreadable, just as Dirk had taught him to be...


	6. Chapter 6

The ground was moist, squelching beneath the shovel with each draw back. It was chased by the sound of dirt falling to the ground a few feet away, a half-step closer to the hole and it repeated. _Bite, squelch, dump, step. Bite, squelch, dump, step. Bite, squelch, dump..._

The man stopped with a hardy chuckle that didn't match the dreary surroundings. The morning frost had melted not long before, the water seeping deep into the muddied top soil. He leaned on the handle of the shovel, his other hand on his hip as he surveyed the casket resting on the opposite side of the hole. Though the headstone was expensive, as was the body box, yet not a soul had come around for the funeral.

"Eh, juss' another spinster, prolly," he mused to himself, bending down to shovel out more of the dirt. His lunchbox was resting on the grave marker, beckoning the hard-working elderly man. He resisted it for another few moments, managing to clear the hole out large enough for the old bat.

He plopped down beside the grave once it was finished, taking his ham sandwhich from the lunchbox as he did so. He let out a gruff chuckle, taking a large, almost rude bite out of the sandwhich before raising his eyes with a surprised blink.

There was a young man making his way toward the back of the graveyard, hands deep in his pockets and eyes blinking a bit too often behind his sunglasses. There was an unlit cigarette hanging from the corner of his mouth, which he flicked out a lighter for before carding a hand anxiously through his blonde hair.

"Oi," the grave digger called, standing up and lumbering toward the startled teen. "Whatcha doin' out here so early in the mornin'? Thought you young'uns only came out here in'a middle of the night or the af'ernoon." He said, motioning toward Dirk with his sandwhich.

Dirk looked taken off guard, hands forced back into his pockets by what looked like a defensive reflex. "I was coming to see my parents." He replied in an unreadable monotone voice. The worker was looking him over, one eye squinted as he bit at his upper lip with a remaining bottom tooth or two.

"Y'look familiar, now that I look at yeh. You come here of'en?"

"... yeah."

The man snapped thick fingers, laughing in a raspy, deep way as he pointed at Dirk once more. "Oh, yeh, yeh, I 'members yeh now. You always sittin' in fronna the Strider grave." Dirk nodded slightly, blowing out a cloud of cigarette smoke.

"Sounds 'bout right."

"A'right, a'right, you go on ahead. I was juss' wonderin'."

The teen inclined his head, eyes dropping to the ground as he took his offered moment to abscond further back in the graveyard. It was a pity, really; such a sweet couple having been forced so far back for lack of money. At least, they'd looked sweet, and their funeral had been full of sobbing children and other parents. He'd know- he'd buried every one of the people in the grave yard, after all.

He watched Dirk seat himself, as always, in front of the grave. He'd noticed the kid here before, sure, just never occured to him to say anything before now. With a dismissive grunt, he returned to his lunch.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Mr. Egbert surveyed the kids, all mingled together on the couches. They were almost all here, then he'd- the front door closed behind a frost-bitten Dirk, who was promptly greeted by the multiple inhabitants of the livingroom. He gave a slight nod their way, then met Dad's curious eyes.

Dirk had to wonder sometimes if Mr. Egbert knew more than he was letting on, though he doubted it. The man had a real fatherly sense of sorts, but it didn't stretch beyond his own children, he was sure. He passed the man in the fedora, sitting on the arm of the far couch. Jane glanced up with a pleasant, though wary, smile.

"Hey~" She greeted, reaching up to give him a one-armed hug about his middle.

"Afternoon," Dirk replied, allowing her to hug him without any sort of reciprocation. Jane loooked a bit off-put and retracted her arm quickly.

"Kids," Dad called, earning their attention, "I have some news." He took a pause to meet the variously colored pairs of curious eyes, taking notice of a few small details. The Striders and Lalondes alike looked as though they were getting less and less sleep at night. It was a bit troubling.

"An aquaintance of mine will be arriving later this week. He is going to be staying with us for a while, living in the guest room and possibly attending Washington and Lee Highschool alongside you."

"Ooh, wait," Roxy said, holding up a finger. "You have a friend our age stayin' here?"

"Yeah, who is it, Dad?" Jane chipped in, leaning forward so she could see her father past Strider.

"He's your cousin," Dad explained with a smile. "He is flying over from England to stay with us for a while- he needs to finish school and such. He should be here by friday." He nodded as the kids all looked around at eachother, excited by the idea of a new addition.

Dirk, on the other hand, rubbed a hand across his face. Another one? He could hardly keep a reign on all of the kids he brothered over now. In his mind's eye he could picture it- another boy added in with John and Jade, running around with that dorky smile and overly-affectionate attitude. He wasn't sure he could deal with _another_ one.

He felt a pressure on his knees, eyes opening and meeting large, concerned blue ones. "You okay, Bro? You don't look so well!" John said, frowning as he leaned against Dirk's legs. He was trying to meet the older Strider's eyes through his sunglasses- an art yet to be perfected by the innocent boy.

"It's nothing."

"Aw, c'mon, you can tell me!" He insisted with a bright, comforting sort of smile.

Dirk always thought of his mother when John smiled like that.

"Look, I just don't have it in me to fucking keep up with another kid."

John cocked his head, expression scrunching up a bit as he thought. "Well," he said, then smiled again, "Dad never said he was a kid! What if he's your age? Hehe, wouldn't that be neat? Then you wouldn't only have girls to hang out with! I mean, not that there's anything wrong with girls, of course, but having a boy friend is always better! Wait, no, not a boyfriend boy friend, just, uhm, you know, a platonic bro friend to kinda-"

"John," Dirk interupted sternly, and, for a moment the smaller boy looked about ready to break out a puppy-eyed apology; though it caught when a smirk tugged up at Dirk's mouth. "Fucking rambling again, bro. Just chill."

John's smile broadened so far, Dirk was surprised his face hadn't split right down the middle. "Okay~!" He giggled, holding up his arms with a pleading glimmer in his eyes. Dirk sighed, rolling his eyes as he leaned forward a bit just to have the breath hugged out of him by the ecstatic smaller boy.

Rose, meanwhile, was gazing over at Dave's ruffled expression. He was glaring first at one end of the room, then out the window, arms crossed and back hunched as he rested his elbows on his knees. "What _is_ the matter with you, Strider? You have been moping about all day."

"What?" Dave looked up at her, cocking a brow over the rim of his sunglasses.

"I asked you what is the matter."

"What is that supposed to mean, Lalonde?"

"Just that you seem to be in a state of unease."

"Whatever."

"No, really," she said before Dave could turn away. "What is it? Are you troubled over the inevitable new arrival?" At the other end of the couch, she could hear John's giggles and a new hypothesis appeared in her eyes. "Or is it jealousy?"

"Jealou- no!" Dave huffed indignantly, scowling openly at his older sister.

"Ah, so that is what has been plaguing you so. You are jealous of John and Dirk, no?"

"No!" He insisted, voice a bit angrier than before.

Rose opened her mouth to continue to insist upon her reached conclusion, but a pair of bright green eyes and a derpish smile interupted them with a polite clearing of her throat. "Hey, guys, Dad wants to know if lasagna sounds good!"

"Of course." Rose replied with a polite nod, having to elbow Dave to get him to nod aggrevatedly.

"Okay! Is everything alright, Dave? You look kinda, hehe, pale~" Jade said, grinning at her accidental joke over his albino skin. "I mean, in a bad way, though."

"Just fucking dandy."

"Al... right?" She looked to Rose for reassurance. The blonde headed girl made a small motion toward her their conversing brothers and Jade bobbed her head in understanding. "I'll go tell Dad that lasagna is fine, then~"

"You should join us once that has been accomplished," Rose invited with a kind smile, patting an open space on the couch left by Roxy's migration to sit with Jane. Jade smiled over her shoulder before skipping off toward the kitchen.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

The scent of baking lasagna wafted through the partially opened kitchen window; creeping out to overlap the stink of nicotine and smoke. Dirk sniffed, rubbing at his red nose with cold fingers. He fumbled a bit with his cigarette before sucking in deeply, as though attempting to choke his anxeities in the smoke.

It billowed from his mouth as he closed his eyes and exhaled just as deeply. Being in the position he was in, he always felt as though caring for the kids had been his job- sometimes moreso his than Dad's. Dad couldn't tag along to school, after all. The idea of adding in another kid to his list while his own brother and sisters were as bad off as they were made him feel anxious and unsteady.

Dave had stayed at the Egbert residence for a week straight as of that day, by John's side, according to Jade, twenty-four seven. The two were best friends, so it was understandable that he'd go to the blue-eyed derp for consolance, but after this long, weren't they bound to be sick of each other? Another smokey exhale and a shrug.

It wasn't his place to meddle.

Rose was an obvious testament to the patience between best friends. She spent more time with Kanaya than she did her own family, after all. Even Jane seemed to be coping happily with Roxy's increasingly frequent visits to the Egbert Residence.

Dirk stubbed out the nub of a cigarette he had remaining, hesitating a moment before he popped out another smoke.

He didn't have anyone like that to turn to. If he stayed away from home, he was either at an all-nighter or here, but when he stayed here it was more for his sibling's sake than his own. He was close to Jane and Roxy, sure, but people their age couldn't so easily mix genders in a slumber party.

Perhaps John had been right. Dad never did explain who this kid was beyond the fact that he was related to the Egberts and was coming from abroad. Maybe he would be around Dirk's age. It would be a relief, to say the least.

"Bro?" Jade chirped questioningly from behind him, leaning out the door as she studied the blonde-headed boy. He glanced over his shoulder, quirking a brow as he flicked a bit of ash from the tip of his smoke.

"Sup."

"Dad sent me out to say dinner is ready and to come in. You'll catch your death out here, y'know!" She said, smiling despite. Dirk looked back at his half-smoked cigarette and sighed, grinding it against the step before dropping the good half back in the box and following Jade inside.

Roxy grinned across the table as Dirk made his way toward the dining area, taking his seat opposite the girl. "So," she said, tapping her fingers on the table. The black and pink fingernail paint had began to chip. "Are you excited yet? I mean, this guy could be a total hottie!" She giggled as Jane rolled her eyes.

"Roxy, is that really all you expect of him?"

"What? That he's probably totally sexy and has an accent?"

"Yeah! _I_ am waiting to see how old he is because-"

"Hehehe, don't wanna be a pedooooo~?" Roxy cooed teasingly.

"Roxy!" She looked indignant. "Because I need someone to discuss the books in our literature class with. You guys aren't any help, after all."

Roxy snorted. "There's always Peixes or Megido."

"Yeah, but.." Jane made a small motion with her hand, worrying her lip. "I mean, it's different!"

The two went on discussing it amid Roxy's laughter and teases, occasional input from the younger half of the table- though all fell quiet when Dad brought out the lasagna. Once it had been dished out amongst the family, the buzz of conversation struck up once more.

Mr. Egbert seemed amused by their excited chatter, glancing down the table at Dirk, obviously hoping he felt the same. Dirk offered a light shrug as he cut a square out of his serving of lasagna and forked it into his mouth. Dad frowned a bit, sipping his water.

"So, Dad," John said with a huge grin. "What's his name?"

Dad smiled down at his eager son, replying after a light, dramatic pause.

"Jake English."

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Roxy leaned back against the headboard of Jane's bed, smoothing down the boxers and tee she called pajamas- both probably belonging to Dirk, but she didn't care. They were more comfortable than her own pajamas. She giggled as Jane flopped down on the fluffy comforter, watching the girl stand up on her knees and glance back. Jane's PJs consisted of a childish light blue dress with white frills along the bottom, which ended about mid-thigh on her.

"Where did Jade and Rose go? I thought they were staying in here!" She pouted, looking over at Roxy questioningly. Roxy waved it off with a crooked grin.

"They're just getting their stuff, dude. Calm down~"

Though Jane's door was closed, the walls were thin. Voices could be heard in the hall; the boys and two girls yet to return to her bedroom. Dirk cut through the conversation with something close to exhapseration before opening Jane's door and ushering Jade and Rose in.

John and Dave were standing behind him, the younger boy looking like a pleading puppy. He was jealous that the girls all got to hang out in Jane's room and watch movies! Dirk was usually out in the livingroom and Dave hated his taste in music, so doing the same with the Strider boys was tiring and full of quiet arguments.

Jane scooted back beside Roxy, back against the wall, as Rose and Jade joined her on the bed. "Uhm, do you guys wanna come watch some movies, too?" She asked with an unsure expression. No protests from the other girls seemed to encourage her. "We were going to watch Orphan!"

"O-orphan?" John seemed surprised, taking a half-step back and bumping into Dave, who smirked and pushed him through the door; following close behind.

"You heard'em." The coolkid replied, standing at the foot of Jane's bed. Dirk lingered in the doorway, casting a glance about Jane's room. He hadn't seen the inside of the girl's room in quite a while, after all.

Her room was a rectangle, longer than it was wide, with sky blue walls and a pale pink bed-spread. There was a computer desk at the far end, positioned beneath the window, with a chest, dresser and TV scattered throughout the rest of the room. The TV left a yard of space between its stand and the bed, which he slipped through so he could sit on the end of the bed with Roxy and Jane.

John whimpered a bit, fidgeting with his overly-sized pajama shirt. There were twin wave-like designs on it in a lighter blue than the rest of the fabric. He looked over at his older sisters, then Dirk, crawling carefully past Dave, Jade and Rose so he could sit between Jane and Dirk.

"Isn't that an, uhm, scary movie?" He asked, looking around with large blue eyes.

"Yeah," Roxy replied easily, grinning as she motioned for Jade to put it in. "Problem, Johnny boy?"

Everyone else in the room seemed perfectly content with watching it, so he swallowed his fear and shook his head a bit too quickly. Dave was watching him, leaning against the footboard with his arms crossed lightly over his chest. He still hated the fact that his best friend would choose his brother over him and vice versa.

Jade noticed his unease and scooted closer, nudging his shouler with hers as the movie began. "Psssst," she whispered. He glanced her way and she grinned. "Don't be pouty, Dave! Hang out with me and Rose instead of that crazy ol' John!"

Rose leaned past Jade, patting Dave's knee with a nod. He sighed as the seating changed to instead have him positioned in the middle; girls cuddling against him on both sides in a totally platonically sisterly way. He hated to admit that it did do him a bit of comfort, his relaxing body language alerting the girls to such.

John seemed to hold his own pretty well throughout the movie, but whenever something happened, he grabbed at Jane and Dirk's arms and hid himself behind the two teens- effectively forcing them together. Dirk would try to reach back and give the panicked boy a bit of comfort while Jane would blush hot and keep her eyes averted from the Strider's.

Roxy seemed to notice this, poking fun under her breath up until Dave scolded her for talking over the movie. Jade had giggled and Rose even let a bit of a snort escape while the others chuckled. Roxy had huffed, falling back dramatically across Jane's lap with her head resting on Dirk's thigh and legs stretching across the other kids' laps.

By the time the movie had ended, John was shaking and looked ready to bolt. Dirk, in an attempt to take care of his little bro, got everyone to agree begrudingly to pop in Con Air. They'd all seen it a hundred times before, thanks to John's obsessive homocrush on Nic Cage, but Dirk really didn't care about all of that.

Mr. Egbert came to the doorway in time to catch Poe's teary reuniting with his daughter Casey and his loving wife. His eyes were, however, set warmly on the bed. All of the kids were asleep, slumped against one and other. John murmured in his sleep, shifting a bit against Dirk's side as he curled up against his brother. He almost chuckled when he realized Roxy was stretched across each and every one of them, snoring lightly in her sleep.

"Good night, kids.." He whispered, turning off the TV and quielty creeping out of the room.

** Okay, so I really want to draw the ending scene here ouo I think I will later on. Anyways, hey, look, Jake has finally been half-introduced! Also, I rewrote this chapter six completely different ways and chose the one I favored, so I hope it's considered such for you guys c:**


	7. Chapter 7

The sound of accumulative grumbles and whines of protest filtered from the hall as the four younger kids dragged their feet down the stairs and into the livingroom. Roxy and Jane were leaning shoulder-to-shoulder to support their own sleepy weight, looking up with bleery, almost accusative eyes at the two watching with amusement.

"Five.." Roxy whined, rubbing at her eyes. "Why does it even _exsist.._"

Dirk snickered past the rim of a coffee cup, already up, showered, dressed and ready to go. Dad, standing in the kitchen and leaning against the bar, looked the same. "Because even if it didn't, it still would." Was his explenation, turning back to the father.

John smacked his lips a bit, eyes mostly lidded behind his glasses as he ran a hand through his messy bedhead. "Huh..?" He asked, this time earning a chuckle from the half-awake coolkid walking beside him.

"You kids need to go get dressed and ready to go! We'll have breakfast when we get back, but we don't want to keep Jake waiting, do we?" Dad said, quirking a brow when there was a collective, almost pondering silence. Before they could break the pause, he continued, "or you all could just stay here."

That, as predicted, had the group hurrying up the steps and promising to be back as quickly as they could. Dirk leaned back against the counter, watching them go as he sipped the last of his coffee and set the cup down. "That got them moving, alright," he mused with a smirk.

"Certaintly." Mr. Egbert turned, setting Dirk's cup in the sink as he gathered a few cooling pancakes and slipped them into a ziplock bag. "I'll bring one for each of them incase anyone gets the muchies," he reasoned with a fatherly chuckle.

A few moments passed and the first few began to make their way back down the steps. Roxy, dressed in a white sweater that exposed her shoulders and a pink mini-skirt with high-reaching black socks, flopped down in the stool beside Dirk with Jane, dressed in a modest pair of what almost looked like mom jeans and her dad's old sweat shirt, on her opposite side.

"Dad, can I have some coffeeeee?" Roxy asked, drawing it out as she yawned. Jane was watching past her father, her own reflection clear in the dark window.

"The _sun_ hasn't even woken up yet," she sighed, resting her head in her arms.

Dirk traced her glance to the window, turning to glance over his shoulder when he noticed John walking up behind him. The smaller boy still looked like a sleepy toddler- acting like one, as well, as he tugged at Dirk and Roxy's sleeves. Roxy waved him off, though Dirk turned and allowed John to crawl up into his lap. The bar stools were filled anyway, and, from what he'd heard from Dave, John was all cuddles when he got sleepy.

"It's too early to be up," the boy mumbled against Dirk's shoulder, shoving his glasses onto the counter as he rubbed at his face and nestled against his older brother.

"Dad said y'all didn't have to come," Dirk reminded him, causing an almost immediate sigh of defeat from John.

"I know, I know.." He murmured, snuffing and blinking his large blue eyes groggily. Dirk ruffled his hair back from his face, watching with a bit of a smirk as it all fell back into place- as though there were a particular order to the chaos that was his shaggy head.

Rose, Jade and Dave finally tromped their way down the stairs and over to the bar, leaning between the stools. "So are we going now, then, Dad?" Jane inquired, watching her father with a curious eye as he picked up a baggy of pancakes.

"Yuppers," he agreed, walking out into the hall, followed by the others. John stood up, yawning and stretching as he stumbled along in front of Dirk. He ushered John along, closing the thick oak door behind him and guiding the sleepy kids into the van.

Dad was up front, watching in the rearview mirror as they all piled in; taking up most of the room. A middle row, back row and another set of seats pressed to the opposite side of the back row. John had managed to lay down in the back seat, curled up so he was taking up only his seat with his head resting in Dave's lap.

Jade was giggling, pushing on Dave's shoulder as he mused John's hair and lulled the boy back to sleep. Rose, seated one row up, passed a look over her shoulder and cracked a slight smile. "Fond of our little derpish friend, aren't you, Strider?" He made a snarky comeback that was hidden behind the bite of the doors being closed all around.

Dirk slid in to the passenger's seat, buckling up as Dad began too pull out. It was a three hour drive to the airport to pick Jake up, and he was pretty sure that would either lead to a van full of sleeping kids or a van full of excited little beasts that wouldn't shut up.

If he was lucky, it would be the former.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

As it went, only a few of them had fallen back asleep; the rest remaining quiet. Roxy and Jane had shared halves of a pancake while Dirk messed with the radio every few songs and had occasional conversations with Dad. Rose, equipped with a small book light and her Kindle, remained almost silent beyond teasing and prodding at Dave, who now had two sleeping derps attached to him.

Mr. Egbert seemed to brighten a bit as the exit for the National Washington Airport was finally indicated. He pulled off to the right, driving down the ramp while Dirk reached back to jostle Jane and Roxy's knees. "Yo, girls, wake up."

Rose assisted, closing her kindle as she placed a gentle hand on her sister's temple- sharing a smirk with Dirk before giving it a sudden jolt and consequently knocking it into Jane's. It wasn't enough to hurt, but it did the job of waking the girls up with a gasp.

"Mmm...?" Jade hummed sleepily, rubbing at her eyes as she lifted her head from Dave's shoulder. She looked over at the coolkid questioningly, though he just chuckled and shook his head while allowing John a bit more sleep.

Dad pulled into a parking space, scarce having the car shut off when the doors opened and the kids hopped out. Despite sleeping, they were still eager to get out, stretch, and meet their new cousin. Dave finally gave John a nudge, waking the boy as he climbed past the middle row and popped out the door.

Dirk made his way around to the door, chuckling as John tried to climb out as Dave had; though he stumbled over himself and had to pause to yawn. John never was one to wake up quickly. Dirk helped the boy onto his back, feeling John sigh contently and drape his arms around his neck as he situated the sleepy teen.

Closing the van door, Jade skipped along on one side of Dirk, slipping her arm through his while she caught onto Jane's arm with her other. Roxy was, natrually, clinging to Jane's side already, creating a small chain of teenagers following behind Dad and the other two blondes, who were talking amongst themselves.

"Excuse me, Father," Rose inquired, quickening her pace a bit to speak with Mr. Egbert. "Do you know what this cousin of theirs looks like?" She had a brow quirked curiously, as though the idea finally flitted through her mind. He chuckled and nodded.

"Don't worry, Rosey, we'll know him when we see him." Rose nodded, content with his answer as she brushed her fingers along the smooth leather case of her Kindle and looked around the airport.

It was pretty big on the inside, full of bustling people and the anouncer lady calling off flights. John was slowly waking up, looking around the buzzing airport with his added height boost; squirming up a bit higher with his chin resting on top of Dirk's head.

"Wow," he giggled, voice still a bit heavy, "it's sooo high up!" Dirk could hear the goofy grin surely plastered to John's face, feeling him look down as Jade tugged on his pants leg.

"How's the weather up there~?" She teased with a buck-tooth grin.

"It's cool!" John replied, kicking up his feet as he spoke. Dirk chuckled, tightening his grasp on John's thighs to keep the boy from slipping.

Roxy nodded dizzily, her arm wrapping awkwardly around Jane's neck as she walked alongside her. "Sometimes I wonder if John is actually our bro, y'know?" She mused as she watched the two. Dirk always had seemed softer around John- though probably because, beyond his own siblings, he'd raised John moreso than anyone else.

Jane nodded a bit, though didn't reply as she scanned the crowds. "Has his flight even come in yet?" She asked no one in particular, cocking her head and straightening her glasses. Jade shrugged, shoes clicking as she insisted upon skipping over walking.

They were just about to move off to the side to find a seat when Mr. Egbert stopped at the request of an unseen english accent. He paused, the only to have heard it, and a moment later, as a family moved, a young man became aparant as he hurried toward them.

You could hear the girls all brace eachother with gasps.

Jake, as it obviously proved to be, had a huge, dazzling smile on his face, complete with the classic Egbert overbite. His eyes were a lot like Jade's, only with a brighter, almost lemon undertone to them- covered by a pair of thin rectangular glasses. The boy's hair was tousled from the plane ride, no doubt, falling against sunkissed skin; made all the better when he paused to catch his breath and the edge of his shirt uncovered a tan line that provided contrast against a lighter natural skin tone.

"'ello, everyone," he greeted with that charming accent, eyes grazing over the lot of them with a more reserved sort of excitement. He was taller than even Dirk, though it wasn't by too much, and his eyes seemed to linger on the oldest and youngest of the teens simultaneously. John squirmed excitedly, grinning.

Dirk's freckled and peirced face was entirely unreadable, lips an even line and eyes invisble beyond his sunglasses- something he was thankful for, given that he couldn't seem to tear his gaze away from the brit before them. Not that he felt too bad about it, since everyone else seemed to be doing it.

Jane lingered closer to Dirk's side, now almost behind Jade as Roxy stumbled her way forward and slung out a hand. "Roxy Lalonde," she said, giggling as Jake took her hand and kissed her knuckles.

"Jake English, madam. A pleasure," he introduced himself, giving her a wink as he released her hand. Roxy looked a breath away from passing out as she bit her lipstick-stained lower lip. Dad chuckled, breaking them up as he addressed Jake.

"So, son, how was your flight?" He asked, taking one of Jake's two large bookbags and wheeling it behind himself as he turned back toward the entrance. Jake mulled the question over for a moment, a smirk having planted itself firmly in his features.

"Bloody loud, if I do say so. Quite a few children aboard," he explained, a noticeable shiver shaking the boy as they stepped out into the brisk winter air. The rest of the kids had, obviously, been born and raised here, so it did little to phase them.

Mr. Egbert laughed even more, patting Jake's back and motioning back at the teens trailing after them- now clustered together and glancing amongst eachother with unspoken exclamations. Even Dirk caught himself exchanging glances with his younger bro, Dave.

"With these ones around, you won't have much of a rest." He warned with another fatherly pat on Jake's back before he broke off to unlock the van.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o

By the time they arrived home once more, the rustling in the back seat had become unignorable. Dirk was now sitting in the middle row with his sister and Jane, Rose being exiled happily to the back back of the van to sit alone, leaving the same three kids to occupy the back seat. Dirk finally glanced over his shoulder after unbuckling, snickering a bit.

Jade and John were hugging just as tight as they could manage, Dave squished between them and obviously trying to pass it off as nothing; though his pale cheeks were pink and expression strained to remain pokerfaced. Jade would point it out with a giggle and John would nuzzle against Dave's cheek in a show of _platonic bromance._

"My, aren't the three of you simply adorable?" Rose teased as she lifted the hatch and climbed out of the back of the van. Dave grunted and huffed embarrassedly, finally released when John hopped out the door.

"They really are~~" Roxy chimed, moving to stand beside Dirk and Jane. Dad and Jake, having been talking in the front seat, finally emerged with Jake's bags.

"Dirk, could you give him a hand?" Mr. Egbert requested, passing by the blonde teen to unlock the front door. Dirk shrugged, rounding the car and leaning against the hood in front of the passenger side door; awaiting his charge with an unreadable expression.

Jake nearly walked into him, eyes meeting Dirk's quickly through his sunglasses -_through his sunglasses,_ no one did that- as a pleasant smile pulled across his lips. "'ello. I don't believe we had a proper introduction earlier. The name's English."

"Strider," Dirk replied as he shook Jake's offered hand. "Dad sent me on over to help with your bags."

The brit nodded, his smile more of a grin as he handed Dirk the lighter of the bags and said, "quite the accent, Mister Strider." He chuckled at the look of surprised realization that pulled the older, though shorter, teen's lips into a thin line. Jake turned and trotted up to the door without another word.

Jane and Mr. Egbert were moving about the kitchen, preparing a very late breakfast while John sat on the bar counter and iced Jake's welcome cake. Roxy, seated beside Rose, smiled, waving said brit over to the remaining bar seat. "Good day, ladies."

"Hello," Rose greeted in return, nodding. "My name is Rose Lalonde." He grinned and, as he had with Roxy, kissed her knuckles and repeated his own name. "It certaintly is intriguing to meet someone from abroad. Do tell, what is it like?"

Roxy, sitting between them, leaned back with a bit of a pout as the two talked past her. It only lasted for a few moments with John's random input before Jake again took notice of the blonde in the miniskirt and excused himself.

"I do apologize, miss Roxy. I didn't mean to offend," he said, both charming and apologetic. The girl broke into a smile, draping an arm shamelessly about his shoulders in a semi-hug while she spoke.

"Aw, it's okay~ I can't hold a grudge against _you~_"

John snorted a bit, trying to stifle it behind his hand as he hopped down and set the cake, instead, on the kitchen's island. Jane gave it a glance in passing, saying, "thanks, John. It looks great~ Why don't you go join Jade in the livingroom while Dad and I finish up breakfast?"

"Breakfast? It's, like, almost eleven thirty!" He giggled, though didn't argue as he brushed past her and out into the hall. Though instead of turning left to head out to the livingroom, he paused and looked toward the front door. Jake's luggage was sitting just inside while Dirk lingered on the porch.

"Uhm, anything wrong, Bro?" John asked, bouncing out the door and standing beside Dirk with an all-over innocent expression.

"Nothin', John."

"Are you sure? Cos you're kinda... accenting!"

Dirk cleared his throat, lips pursed around the butt of a cigarette. "_Nothing, John._" He repeated in his usual careful, unreadable diction.

"Oh, uh, okay!" The boy hesitantly agreed, smiling up at Dirk. "Why don't you come inside once you're done? We're going to be eating breakfast soon and stuff." He seemed to ponder it for a moment before flicking the remains of his cigarette and turning toward John.

"Yeah, alright."

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

The celebration didn't last too long, and, once the eating had ended, the group began to lessen. Rose excused herself so she could return to her home away from home, Kanaya's house, of course, and Dave followed John up to the boy's room for a video gaming session. Jade, left to her bored devices, had gotten her dad's permission to head over to one of her friend's houses, too.

Dirk, Roxy and Jane took up their usual seating arrangement in the livingroom; the two girls lumped together on one end of a couch while Dirk prefered the solitude of the recliner. Dad finished up the dishes and came out to join them, Jake at his heels.

"Dirk, move your lazy ass and let Dad sit down!" Roxy said, leaning over the arm of the couch and pulling at the torn edges along the knee of his jeans. Dirk rolled his eyes, standing up and going to instead sit on the unoccupied couch just as Jake did.

Jane was the only one to catch the slight bit of irratation flash across Dirk's face, shifting uncomfortably. "Hey, Bro," she said, leaning forward and catching the sleeve of his burgundy hoodie. He turned to look at her as Jake plopped down on the leather couch.

"What."

"C'mere," she said, feigning a smile as she stood up. Roxy quirked a brow, blinking up at the duo in surprise as Jane lead him, unfighting, into the hall. Jane paused, biting her lip before opening the front door invitingly. Dirk sighed, though complied.

"Sup?" He finally asked, staring the girl down as she sat on the top step. Jane fidgeted under his intense look, picking at the fluffed edge of her jacket before looking up at his sunglasses.

"Dirk, what's wrong? You've been acting really upset lately, especially today.. The only person you'll talk to is John and even he is worried!" Jane was frowning, hand resting on the back of Dirk's calf as he refused to sit down so she could instead touch his shoulder or back.

Her expression soured as he pulled out a cigarette, hand fisting in the back of his jeans. "Dirk! Stop with all of this smoking! It's so gross and it's really bad for you!" She scolded, though he payed her little mind as he lit the tip and took a deep drag; though whether it was to calm himself or to spite her, not even he was sure.

_What was wrong with him._

"Please..." She whimpered, hand falling away from his jeans as she looked down at her lap. "We've been friends ever since we were babies, Dirk.. I don't know why you won't talk to me anymore..."

A long, painful pause as he smoked his cigarette before finally looking down at Jane, surprised to see her holding her face and crying silently over her lap. He squashed his cigarette, sitting down beside Jane and wrapping a brotherly, apologetic arm around her.

"Jane..." Dirk pleaded softly, leaning forward to try and look at her face. She turned away from him, shaking her head quickly.

"D-don't..! You stink l-like cigarettes and smoke.." When Dirk insised on trying to see her face, she squirmed out from his grasp, stood up and turned on her heel. "I said stop!" She said huffily, momentarily uncovering her face so Dirk could get an eye full of the fear, the pain and exhasperation, the pleading and betrayal..

Jane just as quickly covered her face with her sleeve and hurried inside, leaving the door ajar and Dirk calling after her.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

"Gog, you are a bathtard," Sollux mused from behind his laptop, not sparing the Strider a glance as he plopped down beside him on the couch- having been pacing.

"No fucking kidding.." Dirk muttered, rubbing his forehead.

"Tho what are you going to do about it, then?"

".. what?" He looked up, quirking a brow at Sollux.

"About _Jane,_ you thimpleton. What are you going to do? You can't jutht pretend it never happened. And you can't very-well ignore the Egbert rethidenthe ath a whole. You thort of live there more than you do your own thitty apartment." The hacker huffed, his sleepless irratation obvious in his voice.

When Dirk didn't reply right away, he continued. "Not that you go home, either. You _know_ Roxy and Rothe are jutht waiting to get their handth on you. Then what?"

"Well-"

"You're going to throw another fit, right? Trek on down to the fucking graveyard like you alwayth do? Dirk, they're dead. They're not going to give you any thtupid advithe and they thure ath hell aren't going to tholve your problemth."

It took Sollux a second to realize what he'd said, eyes darting almost nervously in Dirk's direction. He couldn't see the coolkid's face, which worried him further. "I, uh, thorry. That wath a really thtupid, thitty thing to thay. What I mean ith..."

"Shut up." Dirk said, voice flat, utterly unreadable. He turned his face back to stare in front of himself, allowing Sollux a look at his profile. "I get it." Sollux opened his mouth and Dirk said quickly, "_I get it._ I've gotta go, Captor. I have shit to do."

Sollux closed his mouth, brow furrowed in both apology and further irratation. "Yeah, whatever... Thee you at thchool tomorrow, then, I gueth. Don't go thtaying out all night again, fuckfathe. If anything, crath on the couch here."

Dirk nodded his acknowledgement before closing the door behind him with a little more force than necissary. He flinched a bit as it echoed down the cruddy halls of floor five; his apartment building that, even after all of these years, still didn't feel like home.

He leaned against the wall, rubbing his freckled face. What _was_ up with him lately? It took no genius to see there was a lot more stress on the brother's shoulders than ever before, especially with this Jake person around now, and that was mingling with his extra early morning start to birth some truly vile bouts of anger and stress.

Though he couldn't stop now- no, it was going to be a late night. He was already a half-week behind on this month's rent and if he didn't work this rave...

With a thuroughly anxious groan, Dirk pushed himself up onto his feet and sluggishly toward the stairwell.

**Ugh, bad days aren't for writing, folks. This was actually done through a bunch of days without much going back and rereading so it might be ((probably is)) kinda choppy. Sorry, hopefully stuff will smooth out soon. **


	8. Chapter 8

The sound of the whistle cut sharp and fast through the chatter, all eyes turning up to the coach. He was standing up at the back of the gym on the stage, which had doors leading outside on either side. The gym coach, Hessford, was strong and lean, tall and well-built. Just the sort of coach every girl in the school would drool over.

He dropped the whistle, nodding down at the crowd of boys, eyes picking out the new comer. "Hey," he called, standing on the edge of the stage and motioning toward the green-gazed brit.

"Yes sir?" Jake cocked his head, making his way up on stage as Hessford motioned for him.

"Go ahead and introduce yourself to the rest of the men," the coach said, though it was obvious everyone already knew who Jake was.

"My name is Jake English and I'm a new transfer student from England," he said with a goofy smile, bowing before hopping back off the stage to allow Hessford the spotlight once more.

Hanging back on the sidelines, leaning against the bleachers, was the forgotten form of Dirk Strider. He was scowling, sunglasses glinting in the artificial lighting as he shifted his weight. He hated Gym. Despite being one of the best built boys in the school, probably the fastest foot and best shot, he couldn't stand sports.

The rest of the boys were too idiotic and greedy to try and work with.

His orange gaze lingered on Jake as the boy melted back into the crows, unsure of if he should narrow them moreso or lighten up a bit. Jake was okay, he guessed- but it wouldn't last. English had been sucked up immediately by the popular kids, after all, and with his pliable nature, it wouldn't be long before he was just like them.

Dirk felt ill, and it wasn't because Hessford was directing the crowd of shorts and tanktops outside into the icy cold wheather. In all honesty, that was nothing for Dirk at this point. He was numb, after all. Or, at least, that's how it felt to him.

The group groaned and complained as the icy air clutched and grabbed at them, but Hessford persisted and threatened to write them up if they didn't shut up. Jake, however, he cut some slack; he was new and probably not used to the climate.

"Alright, guys," the coach said as he hauled a knit sack of soccer balls off of his shoulder, "we're going to be practicing our shots." He lead them onto one of the two baseball diamonds the school had to offer, which also doubled as a kickball feild, soccer feild and occasional campground for the local boyscouts.

Jake bound up to him with the dumbest smile, taking a soccer ball out of the bag and holding it under his arm as he conversed happily with Coach. Dirk's nose crinkled in disdain. "We'll be pairing off," Hessford finally said once Jake seemed content in whatever he'd been asking.

Dirk had to admit he wasn't as surprised as he'd of thought when Jake trotted over to him. "You realize the lot of them were asking you when you pranced through them?" The Strider greeted with a cock of his brow.

The smile on the brit's face brightened moreso. "So? I thought it would be a great chance to bond or something of the sort!" He laughed, and Dirk had little chance to protest before the Coach demanded they line up on either side of the Diamond, across from their partners.

Jake bound over to the other end, dropping the ball at his feet and straightening his jacket while the Coach threw out the orders. Dirk took vague notice of the Rowr Dinosaur pattern on the front. The next thing he knew, the ball was shooting toward him, caught under the toe of his shoe.

He kicked it back, slowly paying less and less attention as they started a sort of pattern; timing their kicks perfectly while the rest of the teams fumbled and missed every other attempt. Jake seemed ecstatic that they worked so well together, kicking a little harder than he had been and gasping as the ball hurled itself straight into Dirk's stomach.

Trying not to laugh as he went, Jake jogged over with an apologetic smile. "Golly, Strider, I didn't mean to kick it so hard. Are you alright?" He asked, picking the soccer ball up and watching Dirk feel at his stomach.

"You're gunna have to try harder than that if you're tryin' to off me," Dirk replied, shrugging off the stinging pain. He smirked as Jake giggled, tossed him the ball and returned to his post.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

"Yo, Makara," Dirk looked over at the gangly teen as he plopped down beside him at the lunch table- just like he did every other day. Gamzee gave a wistful grin, producing a large orange bottle and popping it down in front of Dirk. "Thanks."

"Sure thing, brother~" He replied with an airy chuckle, setting his lunchbox on the table as he waved past Dirk at Sollux, whose nose was shoved into a book.

Dirk ignored the two, cracking his Faygo Orange and taking a deep sip. He couldn't help but notice that Gym was the first and only time Jake had spoken to him or anyone else in the family. Beyond that, he was engrossed in a swamp of popular kids and adoring girls.

Dirk felt a bit ill.

"Ugh, Gamthee, thut up!" Sollux snapped after a few moments, flipping Gamzee off with a huff.

"Haha, sorry, motherfucker. Guess my mouth juss kinda gets aheada my mind sometimes." He hummed, leaning back as he pulled out a sandwhich- the contents of which were a mystery to everyone, Gamzee included.

Sollux sighed and rolled his eyes, returning to his book. "Are you even going to eat?" Dirk asked flatly, taking another swig of the orange soda as he eyed the reading material being dropped back onto the table.

"Mine ath well, you fuckfatheth are making thith impothible," he growled, standing up and making his way toward the lunch line. Dirk watched him go before turning his gaze to Gamzee.

"He got dumped."

"Yeah, man." Gamzee chuckled, obviously not feeling the weight of the situation.

Dirk rested his chin in his hand, studying Sollux for a fwe more seconds before looking down at the table. Whenever Sollux was highly upset, he'd read. And read. _And read._ It had something to do with distracting him, letting him forget about his real life for a while.

Dirk couldn't complain; it was one of the most alluring things about the raves.

The sound of sneakers making their way toward the corner table could be heard over the lunchtime chatter, and it wasn't until they sat down across from Dirk that he realized it wasn't Sollux. "Good afternoon, Strider," Jake greeted with a buck-tooth grin.

"Heeey, you're that new motherfucker!" Gamzee exclaimed, voice simultaneously remaining relaxed. He sat forward, slinging a hand out. "The name's Gamzee Makara, bro."

"Jake English," the brit replied with that irresistable accent of his. "It's nice to meet you, Gamzee."

"What do you want?" Dirk asked, cutting the sweet little introduction short with an emotionless gaze setting itself on Jake.

"Hm? What do you mean?"

"Why are you sitting over here, English. That's what."

"Oh," Jake said, cocking his head a bit. "Well, everyone else is on a different lunch shift, so I thought it would be pleasant to-"

"You're now one of the most popular kids in the school and you're sitting with the losers."

Jake closed his mouth, blinking as though what Dirk had just said was a complete new thought to him. He looked down at his tray, picking at a roll. "Well, you're still a mate of mine." Dirk needn't reply, as Sollux' tray slamming onto the table was enough to jar the conversation.

"Thtupid fucking bitch thinkth the'th tho fucking important.." He snarled under his breath, among many other insults that were slurred with irratation and a lisp.

"Uhm..." Jake murmured timmidly, his outgoing nature melting from his expression as he shrunk back a bit.

"He'll get over it, motherfucker, dun'cha worry," Gamzee said, grin still present as he comforted Jake. Sollux shot him a glare from behind dual colored glasses before noticing Jake's presence.

"Why ith he thitting over here."

A long, painful pause.

"Because," Dirk answered, getting a thankful glance from Jake. "Now _thut up_ Sollux, you'll be fine."

The hacker, though he pouted and growled, said nothing else aloud as he buried his face in the book once more. Jake shifted uncomfortably, gnawing along the edge of the roll. "So..." He was starting to peice together why Dirk was always so frustrated and angry- if this was what he went through every day at school!

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

The end of school couldn't come too soon. The group, as usual, had migrated to the Egbert Residencey; Dirk lingering on the porch for a needed smoke. He was leaning against the cold metal of the railing, sitting on the cement stoop with his eyes closed and lips releasing small trails of smoke.

By the time lunch rolled to a close, Jake had left their table in favor of the popular kids- wh had been ushering and begging pretty much from the start. Dirk really couldn't blame him, considering Sollux was in a mood and Gamzee wasn't someone you could get used to right off the bat.

He hadn't seen the brit since, bar the image of him heading the group on the walk back home, but as far as he cared, it didn't count.

And, of course, what reason did Dirk have to care in the first place?

A sigh escaped him as he stood up, knowing he had to be getting home in preperation for the coming rave. He would probably end up skipping school tomorrow. Oh well. Standing up and squashing his cigarette, Dirk opened the front door.

Dad was standing, as usual, in the kitchen preparing snacks for the kids who had flocked to the livingroom. He leaned against the doorframe, watching his father with a slight frown. "Hey, I'm headin' home, alright?"

"Sure, sure. Everything alright, son?" Dad asked, looking over his shoulder from the cookies he had pulled out of the oven. "You seem a bit upset."

"It's nothing, Dad, don't worry."

"Oh, alright. See you later, then."

Dirk nodded in parting, drawing his burgundy and pink heart hoodie tighter around himself as he stepped out into the cold. Hopefully, tonight he'd have a chance to get away for a while, pretend nothing was wrong. He hated always having to pretend. _Always._

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

The rave was unusually crowded tonight. Usually, Dirk wouldn't mind- in fact, he encouraged swells in guests, though it was to a fault. Once the max occupation was doubled and there was scarce enough room to breathe, he wasn't quite so enthusiastic.

Ah, well, give the drunks what they came here for.

He turned the music up louder, spinning off before setting his headphones aside. It was about time for his smoke break. Dirk shoveled and forced his way through the packed room, throwing himself into a recently cleared seat at the bar beside the ever-present Captor beside him.

"Ugh, you're going to give everyone here SADS," Sollux complained, scowling over at Dirk.

"Yeah, yeah, it's good to see you too," the Strider sighed with a shrug, plucking out a cigarette and lighting it. Sollux made a face, though said nothing; he hated cigarette smoke. "Why the hell are there so many people here tonight?"

"Like I care."

"You're such a big help, Tholluxth. Thank you."

"You're welcome."

Dirk thwacked the back of the hacker's head as he took another drag off of his cigarette. The bar tender moved over to their end, a huge smile on her face. "Hey, guys, didja hear~?" She asked, bouncing a bit in place with an excited giggle.

Unamused and noticing one of the idiots was making toward his turntables, Dirk waved her off and made his way up to his post; cigarette hanging out of the corner of his mouth as he beat the drunk up behind the delicate device. He sighed, smoke trailing out of his lips as he did so, and held the headphones against his ear.

Usually he was entirely at ease here, able to drift off into his own little world of music, but tonight just wasn't his night. Too many people, to much distracting him. Or, perhaps, maybe he just had too much on his mind to be able to run away from it at all.

He dunked the cigarette into a small ash tray, one he kept up here for emergencies, and swept his eyes over the crowd. Certaintly a full house. A number of people waved and called and hooted for his attention, but they didn't catch suddenly on any of them.

No, rather they stopped and widened on the buck toothed grin and big green eyes, accompanied by a shock of black hair and timmid wave. The boy was near the back of the crowd, expression brightening in the dappled multi-colored lights when he realized Dirk was looking straight at him.

... _shit._


	9. Chapter 9

"I can't fucking believe this.."

"He'th not going to tell."

"Shit, what am I going to tell them.."

"Dumbfuck, he'th not going to tell."

"They're going to fucking kill me..."

_Thwack._

"Ugh, fuck, Captor!" Dirk huffed, spitting out a red tinted glob. The hacker gave him an irratated glare, a crease across his nose.

"Englith ithn't that thtupid, alright? He ithn't going to tell."

"You don't know th-"

"Think about it!" Sollux snapped. "Everyone in the thchool knowth and no one hath been thtupid enough to tell them yet!"

"None of them _live_ with them!" Dirk persisted with an almost panicked undertone.

Sollux rubbed at his forehead, opening the door to their apartment building and making toward the stairs. "Theriouthly, if it'th that big of a deal, then why didn't you jutht tell him before we left?"

"Because that would only make it more likely for him to turn around and tell."

Rolling his honey colored eyes, Sollux started up the stairwell. "You have tho much faith in him. It'th abtholutely unbearable."

"Just shut up.." Dirk sighed, shaking his head. "You know I don't like people. Especially ones I don't trust."

"Well if you thtart off hating them, then how do you ever expect to bond with them tho you _can_ trutht them?" Sollux groaned, rubbing his head as he reached the floor of his apartment and pushed the stairwell door open. He was only a little surprised when Dirk followed after him rather than continuing up the stairs to his own place.

"If you always think the worst of people, they can only prove to surprise you."

"Oh, whatever."

Sollux lead the way down the musty hall, unlocking and forcing his door in. He made a b-line toward the bathroom, leaving Dirk to close up shop. He made his own way into the apartment, pausing as he went to lean on the back of the couch.

Gamzee and Karkat were dead asleep, Gamzee on his back in a pair of polkadotted boxers with Karkat sprawled over top of him in one of the clown's old shirts; which proved to hang down far enough on Karkat for the younger boy to not bother with pajama pants.

Dirk felt a bit of his anger melt, pulling up the blanket that was cast over the back of teh couch and spreading it over the duo. Seeing his friends enjoying their lives usually made his a little less detestable.

"They aren't half ath cute when you're trying to thleep." Sollux said flatly, though he snorted at the look that passed over Dirk's face. "I'm theriouth. Anyway, you crathing here, or did you jutht dethide to follow me home tho you could creeper on my roomateth?"

He opened his mouth, about to throw out something argumenative, but he ended up sighing and shrugging. "Fuck if I know, bro. I should prolly head up to our apartment tonight." Dirk ran a hand through his messy platinum blonde hair, managing to stifle a yawn.

"Yeah, alright. Want me to walk you up?" Sollux offered, reaching over to turn off the TV and put the remote up on the coffee table before it was lost.

"You wouldn't."

"You're right."

"Fuck you."

Sollux snarked something incoherent in response, making a shooing motion. "Just go home," he said, following Dirk to the door so he could lock it behind him. "And look, if he doeth thay thomething, you were here all night. He had you mithtaken with thomeone elthe, obviouthly."

Before Dirk could even register the words, the door closed and the bolt lock slid into place. He stared at the door for a long, thoughtful moment before turning and heading up to floor eight.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Cigarette smoke drifted upward, disappating as a gust of cold wind shot down the street. Dirk watched with little intrest, leaning back against the cool cement steps behind him. It was very early tuesday morning. He knew he should have been inside with his siblings, eating breakfast and preparing for school, but he could care less.

He had his bookbag with him and he was dressed decently enough, after all.

A few moments passed before the door finally opened, two sets of feet emerging. Roxy trotted down the stairs, turning at the bottom to look back at Dirk in a mixture of concern and disapproval. Dave stood beside her, staring off to the side.

"Where were you all night, Dirk?" She asked, hands on her hips. "We were worried!"

"Chill, I was just hanging out with Captor."

Roxy was still puffed up, hands on her hips and messenger bag thumping against her lower back, but she didn't adress him again. "C'mon, Dave. We're gunna be late for school." She turned, wrapping an arm around Dave's shoulder and starting down the street.

Dirk sighed, standing up and following a few paces behind them. He smoked the cigarette right down to the butt, savoring the thick smoke before blowing it all out at once. In all honesty, he was ready to just drop out of highschool. The only thing he seemed to gain from it all was constant stress and irratation.

But his friends and family would surely kill him for it, so he managed through.

The walk was boring and chilly, encouraging Dirk to simply turn around and go home. He had a bad feeling about today. He couldn't quite put his finger on it, though, so he persisted and told himself not to fall more than ten paces behind his siblings.

As they reached the school, it became infinitely clear what had been amiss.

Decorations, red, pink and white, lined the halls- hearts, sparkles, twirlers; all of the old, stereotypical decorations. Dirk sighed as Roxy let out an excited noise of realization. "It's Valentine's Day!" She squealed, hurrying her steps to get to the small cluster of lockers the group shared.

By the time Dirk caught back up, she was squeezing the life out of Jane, laughing as the girl went bright red in the face. "Aw, Janey, your blush is soooo cute~" Roxy cooed, giving the girl's cheek an unashamed kiss.

Dirk merely rolled his eyes.

Jane, fighing through her embarrassed giggles, smiled toothily up at Dirk. "What about you, Dirk?" When he gave her a blank glance, she explained, "are you going to ask anyone to be your valentine?" Roxy's smile dimmed a bit as she clung to Jane's side, noticing quite easily the shift in Dirk's expression.

"No," he replied flatly, turning to his locker to grab a textbook for his homeroom.

"Why not?" Her light blue eyes prodded hopefully at his sunglasses. "You never even try to get a valentine! It's no wonder you're always so lonely, y'know."

"There's no one I care to ask."

"You always say that."

"Because it's always true."

Jane studied him for a long moment, then shook her head. "Not this year, Strider! I can see it- you've got a little crush, don't you~?" Roxy gasped, brightening at the opportunity to finally hook her brother up.

"Do you?"

"No.

"Aw, Diiirk! That's sooo cute!"

"I don't."

"Who is it?"

"I jus' told y'all I ain't gotta crush!" He snapped, though his frustration showed through easily in the sudden thick Texan accent taking hold of his voice.

Roxy looked entirely vindicated, humming a soft, "mmm-hmmm~" Jane merely smiled apologetically.

"If you say so, Dirk."

As he closed his locker, the girls brightened. "Jake!" Roxy giggled, straightening up a bit as he sifted through the crowd. He had the biggest stupid smile on his face, which, in turn, forced a frown onto Dirk's as he tried to suppress any and all welling feelings.

Not that there were any to suppress.

Other than maybe irratation or something.

He crossed his arms, bookbag hanging from one shoulder as he watched Jake give either girl a hug and cast a huge buck-tooth smile in his direction. "G'morning, everyone!" He greeted, straightening his glasses. Roxy's pink eyes shifted between the brit and her brother, watching the way their expressions shifted in simultaneous, opposite ways.

"So, Jakey~" Roxy said, leaning against Jane as she smiled a mischeivious smile at the green eyed boy. "What're you doing for Valentine's Day?" She inquired, tilting her head to feign happy innocence. Dirk narrowed his eyes and Jane quirked her lips questioningly.

"Well, I'm not quite sure as of yet." Jake admitted, shrugging.

"Do you have a Valentine?"

"No, I haven't had a moment to ask," he chuckled, ruffling his own messy raven hair.

Roxy gave an excited gasp, shifting her weight so she could slip her hands into Jane's and Dirk's- a move to keep her brother from leaving. He was peicing together what she was up to.

"Ooh, so you have your sights set on somebody~?" She questioned with a growing grin.

Jake blushed a bit, laughing. "Yes, actually." He looked somehow cuter with that reddish tint to his sunkissed cheeks. Dirk glared off to the side.

"Do tell!" Roxy pressed, bouncing a bit on the balls of her feet. The bubbly excitement was more than obvious in her expression.

He gave an embarrassed grin, messing with his bookbag strap. "Well," Jake began, though a figure suddenly popped out of the crowd, immediately latching onto his arm with a sweet-as-honey giggle. He gave a nod toward the girl, grin brightening.

The girl was a bit shorter than Jake with naturally tanned skin, large unnervingly bright green eyes, thick, long lashes, a timmid smile and short, curly black hair. She was clad in a black button-up beneath a green jacket with a pleated green and black plaid skirt and high-heeled boots.

"Hello, everyone~" She said, voice soft though warm. Her smile faded a bit when she took in the mixture of surprise, disappointment and mostly hidden irratation playing through the group. She looked up at Jake, brows knit. "Uhm, I apologize. I didn't mean to intrude!"

"No, it's fine," Jane said quickly, smiling in that easily faked way the Egberts could always pull off. Smiles for them were like pokerfaces for the Striders.

"So, Miss Umbra," Jake began once Jane had convinced her she wasn't intruding- though she was. "Would you do me the honor of being my Valentine this fine February fourteenth?" He inquired with a hopeful smile, which quickly turned into a huge, goofy beam with an accompanying blush as she kissed his cheek.

"Of course, Jake!" She giggled, hugging him tightly.

Roxy pursed her lips, looking up at Dirk instead of the two embracing teens. It figured. Jake was the cute exchange student and Uranian was the smart little beauty holding out for the _right one._ What made it worse was just how adorable the two were together.

Dirk managed to free his hand from his sister's, passing her and Jane as he made his way toward homeroom. Jane continued to smile until her back was turned, at which point she pressed a hand over her mouth. Jake was still too new to notice, but by the way Dirk was walking, he was obviously upset over this whole exchange.

This was bad.


	10. Chapter 10

First period was a blur. Second period was ignored. Third period was a mess.

Dirk was yet to speak a word throughout the day, lips pursed and eyes hard behind his sunglasses. He was angry, yes, but at who he wasn't sure. Not Jane or Roxy, of course, and he couldn't bring himself to be angry with Jake. Uranian, perhaps?

Why was he upset, anyway?

It was just another highschool starcrossed crush on Valentine's day.

Not that it mattered.

He felt his eyes narrow as sneakers trotted right up to his desk, followed by an unmistakeable british accent. "'ello, Strider~" Jake greeted cheerily, obviously having had a good day this far. Of course he was. He had almost every period with Uranian, except gym and third, which he shared with Dirk.

When Dirk didn't look up from his agenda, Jake frowned a bit and leaned down, elbows resting on the edge of his desk. "Strider? Did you hear me?" He inquired, sounding almost teasing. Dirk still didn't respond beyond raising his eyes to give Jake some acknoweldgement.

There was that stupid _stupid_ grin.

"There you are!" He chuckled. "You seem a spot upset, Strider. Get turned down for a Valentine?" Jake continued to tease and joke, smile broadening when Dirk stiffened. He thought he was so smart. Thought he had this all figured it out. Dirk had to bite down hard on his tongue peircing to keep from snapping at him.

Luckily the teacher called the room to attention and Jake was forced to make his way to the other end of the row of desks where he sat. Feferi, a friend of Jane's, another happy aquaintance of Jake's, smiled and greeted him.

Dirk stopped listening from the begining, glaring off to the side. The teacher was spewing something about one war or another, not that he cared. Those wars were over and done with. They had bigger issues right now. Bigger, _nuclear_ issues.

"Dirk, please answer the question," the teacher pressed, obviously having been speaking to the Strider. When he still didn't reply, a number of his classmates turned to look at him questioningly. It was normal for people to be upset on Valentine's Day, but never had they seen Dirk like this.

"_Mister Strider,_ are you listening to me?" He huffed, the yardstick in his hand now tapping against the palm of the other.

"Nope."

The room fell into a surprised hush as all eyes turned to the blonde, who was giving the teacher a blank stare. He made an indignant noise, crossing his arms. "Allow me to repeate the question then-"

"Don't bother, teach."

The teacher sucked in a breath, squeezing the end of his yardstick in anger. "Then do give us an answer, if you were listening ever so closely."

"I don't have a fucking answer." His expression and voice were still entirely ureadable.

"Language!" The teacher fumed, slamming the yard stick down on his desk. "Do I need to send you to the principal's office, young man?"

"Like it's going to do any damn good."

"Or should I call your parents myself?"

Jake, who was already wide eyed, looked around in sudden confusion when everyone in the room stiffened. He was entirely confused, noticing the flicker of fearful worry in Feferi's face. This was a generation of students who had grown up alongside the Striders. They knew.

"Well?" The teacher continued, crossing his arms. "Is that how it is? I have to call your parents to get a simple answer to a question?"

Dirk was gritting his teeth at this point, his pokerface strained.

"Lets have it, then. Your phone number, Mister Strider," he said, pulling out a pen and a peice of paper. Dirk remained silent. "Oh, don't make this harder on yourself than it needs to be! I'll go to the office if I have to!"

The blonde's fists were clenched on the edges of his desk, expression now outwardly furious. He swallowed hard, the only thought in his mind going out and smoking a cigarette. Or two. Or the whole fucking pack. He grabbed his bookbag and stood up, breathing frighteningly slow and measured.

"Sit down!" The teacher scolded, pulling out a ticket to write Dirk up.

"No."

"Do I really have to call your parents?"

"You can't."

"Excuse me?"

"_I said you can't!_" Dirk suddenly shouted, throwing his free hand up as he turned to storm out of the room. The teacher looked about ready to blow a vein.

"What do you _mean_ I can't!" He yelled in return, stepping between Dirk and the door. When the Strider didn't reply, Feferi stood.

"Excuse me," she cut in, though the teacher's rage knew no mercy as he turned on her.

"Need I write you up as well, Miss Peixes?"

"No, sir, please, listen-"

"Sit down _this instant,_ both of you!" He demanded, though, instead, Terezi, seated at the back of the room, stood up.

"You listen here," she said, obviously not afraid to state her mind.

"No, all of you, _sit down!_ I'll call all of your parents!"

Dirk grabbed his hand before he could press the button to call the principal, grasp tight and angry. "What parta _ya can't call my parents_ did ya not understand?" He snarled, Texan accent shattering the last reserves on his voice.

"Why the hell not?"

"They're fuckin' dead ya stupid lowdown scum eatin' idiot!" He finally all but screamed, throwing the teacher aside and storming out of the room without a second thought.

Again, the room dropped into silence. Not even the teacher's ragged breathing seemed to break it.

The two standing girls gathered their things and walked out, despite class only having begun. The rest of the class followed suite, noses in the air and nasty looks directed at the teacher. Once or twice, there may have even been a few tears in the bunch.

Once the room had cleared out, it was only the dumb-struck teacher and the shocked Jake. They both stared at the ground for a very long, very painful moment before the brit swallowed thickly and stood up. The teacher made no move to stop him as he made his way from the room.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

Jake felt very out of place throughout the day, keeping an eye out for Dirk in the midst of the crowds of love-struck and gossiping teenagers between each period. When lunch rolled around, the Brit hurried right to their usual table; feeling his stomach bottom-out when it was only Sollux and Gamzee.

He gingerly set his tray down, unsure about sitting with them given the lack of Strider. Sollux gave him a wary glare, spindly fingers tapping along the table in a show of surpressed anxiety. "Why the hell are you thitting over here? Dirk'th gone."

"Wha-" Jake began, eyes widening a bit, though Sollux continued.

"Not to mention your girlfriend ith looking for you." He almost spat the word _girlfriend,_ glaring down at his lunch as he popped the lid off of a small bottle of limeade and took a swig. Jake frowned, trying to speak, though Sollux wouldn't offer him the chance. "Jutht go, Englith. I don't want to hear it. And I'm not thaying anything on Thtrider'th behalf. He'th fucking pithed off and that'th all you need to know."

"B-"

"Go. The. Hell. Away." Captor said slowly, angrily, eyes narrowing further behind his 3D glasses.

Jake shied back, frowning and nibbling at his lower lip as he lifted his tray. An instant later he felt a pressure against his shoulder, looking down to see Uranian giving him a honey-sweet smile. "C'mon, Jake~ I've managed to squeeze us in over there~!" She giggled, motioning toward the "popular" table.

Sollux sniffed scornfully, rather glad Dirk wasn't here to see Jake's retreating form heading toward whom they considered to be their worst enemies. The popular kids were all a bunch of insufferable pricks, after all, and Dirk had made a quiet point about killing Jake if he ever stooped so low.

Not five minutes later the raven haired boy seemed to have forgotten all of his friends' troubles; laughing and smiling amongst the cool kids while flirting shamelessly with his Valentine. Sollux felt ever-more thankful that Dirk had left.

He would have shot himself by now had he stayed.

o-o-o-o-o

The winter air was chilly, nipping at his uncovered pale face and hands as he made his way up the sidewalk with a furious sort of rush imposing on his usual apathetic disposition. Dirk had tried and failed to light a cigarette, telling himself it was the non-exsistant breeze, not his uncontrollably shaking hands. Or the tears on his cheeks. Or the pain stabbing through his chest and leaking black acid down into his roiling gut.

No, just that stupid stupid breeze.

He wracked his fingers through his hair, ignoring the scratch on his forehead from hitting it against the brick outside of the school building. The pain was numbed by the cold, allowing him to ignore it just as much as he was managing to ignore everything else.

Which, by the sound of that sniffle, wasn't going to great. But whatever. It was his Valentine's Day to ruin- he could cry and yell and pirouette off the handle just as much as he wanted to. Though he would rather sit in front of his parents grave with his head in his hands and denial hanging around him like a thick veil; sealing him off from the rest of the world.

Dirk felt as though everything that could have gone wrong had. He hadn't wanted Jake knowing about his parents, hadn't wanted the boy to see him in such an uncool mood, hadn't wanted.. hadn't wanted Jake to acquire a Valentine. The thought was incredibly selfish, though he couldn't help but stand by it.

He felt like he was part of one of those stupid Highschool cliches where the main character has their heart broken, just to have it redeemed at the last possible moment.

The problem being _there wasn't going to be any redemption._

If anything, he'd lose Jake entirely over his stupid little outburst. Plus he'd flunk History. And he'd been skipping out on Mr. Brown's math in fourth period a lot lately, adding truency onto everything else.

_Not to mention the eviction notice claiming they had to be out of their apartment within the next week._

Dirk whimpered, leaning over his knees, forehead and lower arms pressed into the cool grass as it all began to set it. This was it. He was done.

Just _done._


	11. Chapter 11

** Sorry for the wait, everybody! o: I've just been very... I don't know, writer-block-y, I guess XD I haven't written anything beyond RP replies in what feels like ages. Not to worry, though, this story has never been far from my thoughts! **

** Let's see if I can get back into the swing of things cx Enjoy!**

"..."

"Dirk?"

"..."

"Dirk Alexander Strider!"

"..."

"Bro, seriously, c'mon."

Dirk was seated on the couch in their rinky-dink little apartment, head in his hands and sunglasses abandoned at one end of the room or the other. He wasn't sure which. The eviction notice was crushed into his back pocket in a hasty attempt to hide it from his siblings as he entered the apartment, but Rose was never one to take 'leave me alone' as an answer and swiped it.

He held his breath for a moment before hearing her gasp, then sigh. She smoothed the paper out, shaking her head slowly. "Oh, dear..." Dirk could hear Roxy and Dave shooting questions at her and the crinkled papers being passed around- and their respective reactions.

In all actuality, no one seemed upset about the fact that they were losing their apartment beyond Dirk.

It was understandable -the place was a miniature dump and looked like it belonged to a hoarder or two- that they would much rather move in with the Egberts, but for Dirk it had been more a problem of being the head of the family. He was supposed to take care of his siblings, provide for them ihimself,/i take care of them whenever they needed it... not sit back and watch them lose their home. It made him feel like a failure.

"You realize," Rose said gently as she sat down beside him, "that none of us are pegging any sort of blame on you, correct?" Dirk was silent. "Strider, you've been providing for four teenagers while coping with school and, well, many other pressing matters! Most couples, both graduated and working, would struggle with such a load."

Roxy leaned over the back of the couch, wrapping her arms around his shoulders and drawing him back so he was sitting upright and she could give him a huge hug from behind. "Rosey is right, y'know! I mean, if we were going to be distributing the blame around here, then sign me up. I'm, like, old enough to get a job and help support the family and all of that crap, right?"

Dirk sighed quietly through his nose, pulling away from her grip and standing up. It was Dave's turn to confront him, but instead of doing so, the blonde boy crossed his arms and looked away. The shit had hit the fan and he wasn't cleaning up the mess. Not this time.

If Dirk needed a little brother's help, he'd go to that derp-shit Egbert anyway.

Of course hating on his best bro only made the nausea Dave was experiencing worse and drove the boy from the livingroom of their apartment. He grabbed a bundle of clothes and slammed the bathroom door behind him, the hot water starting up almost immediately.

The girls were both surprised and expectant of such a reply, looking back to Dirk. iHe gets it from you,/i their gazes seem to say, and, in such a respect, Dirk was out through the front door of the apartment.

o-o-o-o

"Thtrider," a voice called from the stoop of the hotel. The blonde kept walking, hands shoved deep into his pockets and eyes on the sidewalk. "Thtrider, stop your ath right there!" Sollux demanded, lanky legs carrying him over the steps and down the way after Dirk.

He caught the teens shoulder, spinning him around and glaring at him. "The hell'th going on? You're five thtorieth above me, but I'm pretty thure your apartment ith the one holding every ounthe of anxiety in the whole damn building."

"We're bein' evicted," he said flatly, orange eyes dull and unreflective as they stared directly into Sollux'. He hadn't bothered to grab his sunglasses- which was ironic, as it was times like these that they would most come in handy.

Sollux' bristling seemed to stumble as he blinked. "Evicted? Theriouthly?" Dirk nodded curtly and Sollux seemed to register the picture in all its blonde-siblings glory. "Well fuck. Ith he thtill giving you a chanthe to pay?" A shake of his head- they'd fallen behind too many times for such mercy. Captor sighed. "Thit, man, I'm thorry."

"Whatever."

"No," Sollux said as Dirk began to turn away from him and grab for a cigarette, "you're not 'whatever'ing thith. You've been whatevering everything lately."

"What-"

"That'th it! That'th your fucking problem!" Sollux yelled, jerking him back around. "You idon't care!/i It'th not healthy to inot care/i thith much, Dirk. It'th no wonder everything keepth going wrong for you- you have to at leatht iact/i like you give two thitth! You've been whatevering everything thinthe your parentth died and, yeah, I'll give you a fuckin' green card ia few yearth ago,/i but it'th time for you to man the hell up!" He gave a hard push to the middle of Dirk's chest. "You wanted to take care of your family? Well you thure ath hell aren't making an progreth on that! Rothe ith never around, Roxy would rather be drunk and Dave-" he cut off, eyes narrowing as he shook his head.

Then promptly stumbled back a step when a fist connected hard with his cheekbone.

"You don't get it, you ain't put up with this shit, Captor," Dirk snarled, putting a challenging foot forward. "Do you have any idea what it's like? To have to lose your parents and still be the strong one? To be reminded ievery damn day/i that they're gone and they ain't comin' back? To feel sick every time you take refuge with your own kin cos they look so much like'em? Do you have iany idea!/i" Dirk was absolutely seething, gritting his teeth as anger flared in his eyes.

Sollux seemed taken off-guard by it all and Dirk continued. "Don't you think I know? Don't you think I've realized my own damn siblin's would rather be iANYWHERE/i other than with me? Yeah, I'd say the point has come across loud and clear! Well they can take that opportunity right now cos as of now we ain't got a home! They can go whereever the hell they want and, you know what, I ain't gonna stop 'em! If they want away from me so bad, then fine, they can igo./i"

He tore the cigarette out of his pocket so fast another two fell to his feet, but he wasn't paying any attention to those. His thumb managed to snag the lighter and he immediately took a deep puff of nicotine; followed by a prompt round and storm down the sidewalk.

"Do they even know?" Sollux' voice had dropped noticeably, now it was quiet and, while still laced with anger, probing. "Have you ever even bothered to tell them you love them? Onthe?" Dirk's next step hesitated. "They have no clue. None." Dirk came to a stop as he listened to Sollux slam the doors to the apartment complex behind him.

"You have no idea."

o-o-o-o-o

The Egbert household was dark, having been turned off early with the impending school day and lack of Striders or Lalondes to keep the party going. A single note and small, artificial light broke the warm silence, causing Jane to roll onto her back and blink groggily up at the roof. She yawned and groped along her nightstand, picking up her phone and trying to mak out the caller ID- but, without her glasses, she was left with a blur of pink and blonde and a muffled word.

"Mmm.. hello?" She murmured sleepily, already curling up on her side and drifting in and out of sleep.

"Janey?"

The girl's eyes snapped open and she sat up on her elbows. "Roxy? What's- what's wrong?" She asked, stumbling over a misplaced yawn. Roxy sounded like she'd been crying. A lot.

"Is D-Dirk over there?"

Jane sat up fully, fumbling around through the darkness before shoving her glasses on and stumbling out of bed. "I can go check. What happened?" Her voice dropped to a hissing whisper as she left the confines of her bedroom and snuck down the hall toward the stairs. She paused at the top of them as Roxy explained all that had happened.

"He still hasn't come home and that was a few hours ago... I was hoping he was over there," Roxy sniffled wetly, her tears having acted upon the over-use of her vocals.

"I'm looking," Jane murmured, feeling her brows draw. She really wanted to give Roxy a big hug, but, of course, they were on the phone. Carefully, Jane made her way down the stairs and paused at the mouth of the couch/recliner/TV square.

Jake had taken up residence in the guest room, which left her curious when there was, in fact, a figure lying stiffly on one of the couches. Her eyes widened first in a surge of icy cold fear, though it melted in realization. "Dirk? Is that you?" She asked softly, taking a few steps forward and resting a hand on the figures shoulder. She about jumpped out of her skin when it wasn't Dirk who replied.

"Ms. Crocker?" Jake gasped, sitting up so quickly he nearly thudded foreheads with her. "No- why would Strider be here unannounced?"

"No, it's Jake..." He gave her a questioning look, "and, uhm.. it's just a Dirk thing. I guess it's hard to explain?" She brushed her fingers anxiously through her short black pixie cut hair and looked across to the other couch, then the recliner. "He's not here..."

"Why in the dickens-" Jake seemed to finally understand as he noticed the faint light pressed against Jane's ear. "Did something happen, Ms. Crocker?" He asked, sitting up and tossing his legs over the side of the couch. She seemed to be edging toward tears herself.

"Yeah, of course I'll call... uhm, tell me if he comes home?" He put the peices together, then stood up just as Jane whispered something else and closed her phone.

"Strider's missing?" Jake inquired, his mind immediately flashing back to his outburst in school. "For how long?"

Jane swallowed a forming knot in her throat and began to ring her hands nervously. "A few hours... he came home and, u-uhm.. they're being evicted and there was an argument, kinda, and he's been gone since!" She nibbled her lip and exchanged her wringing hands for crossing her arms. "No one can get ahold of him, either."

"Evictions and arguements would drive any man under the radar, at least for a spell," Jake sighed. It seemed to be a knowing one. "He seems to disappear quite frequently- do you know where he's always getting off to?"

She shook her head slowly. "Nobody knows... He's been really closed up since their, well, you know, and.. that's when he started doing this. He won't talk to anybody about that kinda stuff anymore, and nobody wants to intrude by following him or something..."

Jane blinked in surprise as Jake began to pull on his heavy boots and jacket. "W-wait, you're not really-"

"Someone has to step up to the plate, Ms. Crocker. Who's to say whether I will find him or fail in my endeavors- I'll leave such nonesense up to fate. But for now, Strider seems in desperate need of someone who iwill/i intrude." She seemed to wilt at that (they had been doing it all wrong all along, hadn't they?) but the fact that the whole Valentine's Day thing had only been earlier that day occured to her.

"I'm coming too!" She said quickly, lacing her fingers together in front of her chest. "I-I mean, I feel responsible since we've been best friends for a long time and..." There was a guitly air to her voice as she trailed off. Her heart skipped a sudden beat as Jake placed a comforting arm around her shoulder.

"Don't trouble yourself with thoughts like those, Jane. Sometimes it simply takes the view of a bystander to understand the true problems. You may want to grab a jacket, as well," he added as he released her and lead the way toward the jacket closet beside the front door.

Tonight was bound to be a long night.

o-o-o-o

** There we have it~ For now, at least c: I have a bunch of things to do today, but hopefully I will get around to a second chapter to make up for the loooong wait for this one! Thanks for all of the reviews and I hope to see more~ ;D**


	12. Chapter 12

The city was eerily quiet- not silent, of course, but compared to the usual hustle and bustle of the daytime rush, it seemed to be a ghost town. A ghost town with very frightening shadows cast over the alley ways and street lights few and far between.

"Jake..." Jane whimpered, arms wrapped tight around herself as she followed along behind the Brit. "It's almost two.. we need to get home!" She sniffled, rubbing her hands along her arms.

He paused, looking over his shoulder. At first he seemed like he was going to snap (obviously being out so late int he midst of winter would leave one cranky), but instead he sighed. "You may return home whenever it strikes your fancy, Miss Crocker. I, on the other hand, am a man on a mission."

Jane gave him a meek look, already knowing she'd see the stubborn look the boys always gave her. And sure enough, there it was. "You wouldn't even be able to find your way home if I left!"

"Once I locate Strider, he will surely assist me."

"But what if you don't find him, Jake? The city is really dangerous at night and-"

"All the more reason, Jane."

The pixie-cut brunette wilted, ducking her head as he turned and continued down the sidewalk. Her feet were aching and her fingertips were bright red from the cold, but she certaintly could not just leave him wandering about.

_Oh Dirk..._

o-o-o-o

"Do you have the time?"

"Three."

"Alright, thank you."

"Uh-huh."

The small, nearly empty diner fell back into an uncomfortable silence. Jake and Jane were seated across from each other, both having wrapped their cold hands around a hot chocolate. The pizza-faced girl behind the counter shifted, snorting when the drunk man passed out in a corner booth slid down in his seat.

Jane ran her thumb along the side of her cup, staring herself down in her reflection. She had bags beneath her bright blue eyes- which, at this point, looked dim and sleepy. "I don't think we're going to find him..."

Jake's gaze raised to her, his expression souring a bit further. "Of course we will- we _have_ spent this long, have we not? No use turning back now, Miss Crocker."

"Jaaaake," she whined, burying her face in her arms on the table. "He'll come home- he always does... can we please go home and go back to bed.."

The Brit exhaled, rubbing his forehead. He took a sip of his hot chocolate, helping his thoughts along in his own rather tired stupor. "No." He finally replied. Jane looked up.

It had been the first time during their lengthy tour of the city that Jake had actually flat-out denied her. He'd always passed it off as 'if you want to go, then go.' Apparently he was nearing the end of his own rope.

She nodded slowly, her frown becoming more visible. "Sorry.."

Jake threw back his head and finished his hot chocolate all in one go, standing up with a snuff. "No time for apologies, Miss Crocker," he said, a bit of his usual enthusiasm reentering his voice. Jane smiled warily, standing up and smoothing down her pajama pants.

The girl behind the counter hardly spared them half a glance as they exited with the toll of a worn bell.

The night seemed just a bit warmer than it had been before they went inside- a welcomed change for Jane. The sun didn't rise until around six if she remembered right, but she could certaintly feel it coming.

"Where are we going to look now?" She asked, walking alongside Jake as they began down yet another sidewalk.

"I'm not quite sure, to be honest. We have been to a number of different locations as is- who's to say where we shall or shan't find him." Jake hooked his hands behind his head, gazing up at the smoggy skies just clear of the sky scrapers.

"True," the girl replied, sipping her cocoa. Though it was thin, it was still warm and sweet.

They trudged on in mutual silence for a short while before Jake again broke it. "Haven't I heard of a park not far from here?" Jane cast him a glance, then nodded.

"Yeah, it's up the street and around the bend. I doubt he'd be there, though!"

"Perhaps," Jake said, brushing his fingers through his messy raven hair, "we have been going about this all wrong? Certaintly so, if no one has been able to locate him yet. What harm could it do?"

Jane, ever compliant, nodded her head. "Yeah, I guess you're right. See the curb up there? If you take that right, that's where the park is. We have to cross the street, though."

The park came into veiw soon after, an oasis placed in the dense jungle of buildings and streets. There were large, thick trees which had to have outlived the city itself, sprouting from well-maintained emerald grass. It framed a pond with a slim phantom gazebo over-looking it.

"My, certaintly not what I was expecting!" Jake said with a childish spark of bewilderment to his voice. Jane giggled.

"Pretty nice, huh?" She glanced either way down the abandoned street before the two crossed it, smiling despite everything else. "Dad used to bring us here all the time when we were younger. He said it's where he met Dirk's parents when they were kids.."

Jake looked over with a morbid toned fascination. "The elusive subject that they are," he murmured, more to himself than his comrad. She caught it regardless, sighing.

"They were really good people. Everyone who knew them liked them, so of course no one is going to want to bring up that they'd..." She explained softly, picking at her empty styrofoam cup.

Jake watched her pull off small flakes of brown, revealing the white foam of the cup beneath. "Would you mind my inquiring as to what happened?" Jane paled, stumbling over her words before withdrawing with a frown.

"Car accident."

Both came to an abrupt stop, blue and green eyes alike flashing up to the figure standing before them. Dirk had his hands in his pockets, face apathetic and lips twitching slightly at the mention of his parents. There was a cigarette smoldering slowly away between his fingers.

"Dirk!" Jane squeaked, nearly jumping out of her skin. He payed her no mind, instead cutting Jake off as he opened his mouth, the apology already written all over his face.

"Shut it, English. I don't give a damn if you're sorry. What I want to know is why the hell y'all are out at this time of night." His shades glinted in a nearby streetlight as he shifted hi weight to his other foot and took a drag off of his cigarette.

"You are the one who owes an explenation here, Strider," he replied smoothly, the frown not fitting his face. It made his over-bite look awkward as it over-hung his downward tugged lips.

"And why is that."

"Because you're just as bloody far from home as we are! It's three in the morning, so why the dickens are you in the park?"

"The same reason you are."

"I highly doubt-"

"I went home. I'm not some idiot who stays out all night without fuckin' speaking up. Roxy tried to call Jane and tell her."

Jane looked down, pulling her phone from her pocket then cupping a hand over her mouth with a sudden hot flood of embarrassment. It had died at some point or another.

"I- I'm so sorry! I hadn't realized- I mean- oooh this is all my fault!" The girl fretted, quickly pushing her phone back into her pocket and trying to smother her mortified flush.

"It's alright, Miss Crocker," Jake said, and in way of assuagement added, "I didn't even think to bring my own."

Dirk rolled his eyes behind his shades, taking another puff of nicotine. "So you went runnin' off into the city at one in the gogdamn morning and you didn't even bring your phone?"

Jake gave him a look. "At least if I had, I'd of answered it when someone attempted to contact me!" Dirk snorted and Jane crossed her arms over her stomach.

Jane knit her fingers together, yawning into the crook of her arm. She still looked exhausted, shrinking down when she realized both of the boys were now looking her way.

"C'mon," Dirk said, passing Jake and slipping his arm through Jane's. The girl gave him a sleepy frown, though it lightened a bit when he began on a familiar route toward her house. Jake, swallowing his indignation, followed a few paces behind.

o-o-o-o

"You really mustn't do this."

"Not that you can stop me."

"Think about what you have put everyone else through!"

"If they minded their own damn busines, it wouldn't matter."

"But you _are_ their business, Dirk!" Jake suddenly snapped.

They were seated on the front porch- or, rather, Dirk was seated with an unlit cigarette hanging between his fingers, while Jake paced along the path from the stairs to the gate and back.

"Bull."

He made an exasperated noise, running a hand through his messy black hair once more. "You truly have no idea! Strider, for all of your effort, you seem to take no heed of anyone else's! I have been here for all of a month's time and even I have witnissed the time and love everyone around you has invested in your well-being, yet all you do is complain and mope and run off in the middle of the bloody night!"

Dirk was staring down at his feet by the time Jake finished his shouting. His eyes were icy behind his glasses, cold enough to make the Brit shiver, even if they couldn't be seen past the sunglasses. Jake waited for some sort of reply, but instead watched with a mixture of disgust and dismay as Dirk lit the cigarette he'd been holding.

"Disgusting."

"Excuse me?"

"It's disgusting. Smoking," Jake clarified, wrinkling his nose as the smoke neared him. He took a step back, arms crossing over his chest. Dirk seemed unphased.

"Is there anything about me you _don't_ have a damn problem with."

"... as of yet, no." English stated simply, frowning. "Beyond the fact that you are fully commited to your sibling's well being, that is." His frown deepened with confusion as Dirk snorted.

"What the hell ever. I give up." He strolled down the steps, passing Jake without a glance.

The raven haired boy wheeled around, blinking in surprise. He'd expected yelling, shouting, arguing, _something._ Dirk made his way out of the gate, pausing for a moment to take a drag off his cigarette and glance either way down he street before crossing it.

Jake opened his mouth to stop him, but in the few seconds he hesitated, Dirk had already left earshot. The green-eyed boy sighed, rubbing his forehead. There had to be some sort of secret to handling a Strider- a secret he still could no seem to grasp.

**Mmm I think we've come to the conclusion that my updates are spontaneous and motivated by reveiws and friends -u- this one is courtesy of J4 on dA because she brought up the fact that I'd almost finished this chapter, then left it to sit XD I didn't reread anything but three paragraphs up when I started again, so sorry if it doesn't run too smoothly.. /bad authoress I know**


	13. AN

**Er... A/N time, I guess. It's been a while since I've updated and I'm sorry about that. I've gotten inspiration on and off, but nothing seems to follow through right and it's kind of been a big mess of almost finished chapters that never work out. I'm probably going to be more actively working on **_**A Candle's Fickle Flame, **_**if you'd be interested in that for now? And.. since they updated the site I can see this story has 98 followers! xox jeezum that's a lot! I had no idea so many people read it! **

**A HUGE thanks to everyone and I promise the second I get the right spark for the next chapter, I'll hop right to it; I'll even put in a good go at it tonight! In the meantime, find me over on dA as ~PsycoChic4eva or working on **_**ACFF. **_**I promise this story will not go unfinished! Loves and all!**

**~Jocelyn**


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